Discovering Passion-adapted by Messenger

Sun Mi was surprised at Hyun Chul's nonchalance when she returned to work after their evening together. There was no mention of their meal together or the scene thereafter. Hyun Chul slipped with apparent ease into the partly professional, partly mocking attitude he invariably directed toward her.

For the next few weeks shooting moved along with few complications. They were nearly halfway through the planned shooting. If everything continued to go as well, the issue could be on the stands in early spring.

Sun Mi was at home on a Saturday night deep in thought about her feelings toward Hyun Chul when the phone rang.

"Hello." Her voice reflected her weariness and annoyance.

"Hello, Sun Mi. Been out on the town?"

There was no need for the caller to identify himself. Sun Mi recognized Hyun Chul immediately, glad that the thumping of her heart was not audible over the wire.

"Hello, Mr. Yun." She schooled her voice to coolness. "Do you always call your employees so late?"

"Grouchy, aren't we?" He seemed unperturbed. "Did you have a nice day?"

"Lovely," she lied. "I'm just home from having dinner with a friend. And you?"

"Spectacular!"

"Did you call to compare our day or was there something on your mind?" Her voice grew sharp at the picture of Hyun Chul and Sun Hee enjoying a romantic dinner together.

"Oh, yes, I've something on my mind. To begin with, I had thought to share a drink with you, if you still have that bottle of Scotch."

"Oh." Her voice cracked, panic-filled. Clearing her throat, she stumbled on. "No, I mean, yes, I have the Scotch, but it's late and......"

"Afraid?" he interrupted quietly.

"Certainly not," she snapped. "I'm just tired. I'm on my way to bed."

"Oh, really?" She could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Honestly." To her disgust, she felt herself blushing. "Must you continually make fun of me?"

"Sorry." His apology lacked conviction. "Very well, I won't dip into your liquor supply....." Pausing, he added, "Tonight. I'll see you Monday, Sun Mi, sleep well."

"Good night," she murmured, filled with regret as she replaced the receiver.


On Sunday Sun Mi met Ju Hee for lunch, hoping the short outing would boost her flagging spirits. The elegant restaurant was crowded. Spotting Ju Hee at a small table, Sun Mi waved and made her way through the room.

"Sorry, I know I'm late," Sun Mi apologized, "traffic was dreadful and it's freezing out there."

The two women ordered their meal, slipping into the easy camaraderie they enjoyed, and suddenly Ju Hee whispered softly. "The most fascinating man just came in. I might as well be invisible for all the attention he paid me. He was too busy staring at you."

"He's probably just looking for someone he knows."

"He's got someone he knows hanging on to his arm," Ju Hee declared, staring boldly at the couple across the room. "His attention however, is riveted on you. No, don't turn around," she advised as Sun Mi started to turn her head. "Oh, good grief, he's coming over. Quick," she whispered desperately, "look natural."

"Well, Sun Mi, we just can't keep away from each other, can we?"

Sun Mi heard the deep voice and her wide eyes met Ju Hee's startled ones before she looked up to meet Hyun Chul's crooked smile. "Hello." Her voice was oddly breathless and then glanced at the woman on his arm. "Hello, Miss Kim, nice to see you again," she said quietly.

Sun Hee merely nodded. From the expression in her frosty eyes, it was apparent she couldn't have disagreed more. Hyun Chul raised his brow in inquiry.

"Yu Ju Hee, Kim Sun Hee and Yun Hyun Chul," Sun Mi introduced quickly.

"Oh, you're Hankook Magazine," Ju Hee blurted out, her eyes shining with excitement. Sun Mi looked in vain for a hole to open up and swallow her.

"More or less."

Sun Mi watched, helpless, as Hyun Chul turned his most charming smile on Ju Hee.

"I'm a great fan of your magazine, Chic, Mr. Yun." Ju Hee bubbled. "I can barely wait for this big layout of Sun Mi's. It must be very exciting."

"It's been quite an experience so far." He turned to Sun Mi with an annoying grin. "Don't you agree, Sun Mi?"

"Quite an experience," she agreed carelessly, forcing her eyes to remain level.

"Hyun Chul," Sun Hee interrupted. "We really must get to our table and let these girls get on with their lunch." Her eyes swept both Sun Mi and Ju Hee, dismissing them as beneath notice.

"Nice to have met you, Ju Hee. See you later, Sun Mi." His lazy smile had Sun Mi's heart pounding in its now familiar way. But she managed to murmur goodbye.

"Wow," Ju Hee turned to Sun Mi. "You didn't tell me he was so terrific! I was literally liquified when he smiled at me."

Dear heaven, Sun Mi thought wearily, does he affect all women that way? Aloud, she spoke with mock censure. "Shame on you - your heart's supposed to be taken."

"It is," Ju Hee affirmed. "But I'm still a woman." Looking at Sun Mi, she went on shrewdly, "don't tell me he leaves you unmoved. We know each other too well."

A deep sigh escaped. "I'm not immune to Mr. Yun's devastating charm, but I'll have to develop some kind of antidote during the next couple of months."

"Don't you think the interest might be mutual? You're not without substantial charm yourself."

"You did notice that woman clinging to him like ivy on a brick wall?"

"Couldn't miss her," Ju Hee grimaced. "I had the feeling she expected me to rise and curtsy. Who is she, anyway? The Queen of Hearts?"

"Perfect match for the emperor," Sun Mi murmured.

"What?"

"Nothing. Are you done? Let's get out of here." Rising without waiting for an answer, Sun Mi gathered her purse and the two women left the restaurant.


The following Monday Sun Mi walked to work and lifted her face to the first snow of the season. She arrived at Woo Jin's studio early in order to check out the work prints for the layout.

"I want a copy of this," she called to Woo Jin, "I look fiercely competitive." Receiving no response, she glanced over and found him totally involved and oblivious to her presence. "Certainly, Sun Mi, my dear," she answered for him. "Anything you want. Look at that stance," she continued with deep enthusiasm. "The perfect form and intense concentration of a champion. Look out, Wimbledon, here I come. You'll tear them apart, Sun Mi." She again assumed Woo Jin's role. "Thanks, Woo Jin. All that talent and beauty too. Please, Woo Jin, you're embarrassing me."

"They lock people up for talking to themselves," a deep voice whispered in her ear. Sun Mi jumped. The picture dropped from her hands to the pile on the desk. "Nervous too - that's a bad sign."

She whirled and found herself face to face with Hyun Chul - so close, in fact, she took an instinctive step in retreat. Hyun Chul noticed her reaction and his mouth twitched into a disarmingly crooked smile.

"Don't creep up on me like that."

"Sorry, but you were so engrossed in your dialogue."

A reluctant smile hovered on Sun Mi's lips. "Sometimes Woo Jin lets the conversation drag a mite, and I'm obliged to carry him." She gestured with a slender hand. "Just look at that. He doesn't even know you're here."

"Mmm......, perhaps I should take advantage of his preoccupation." He tucked a silky strand of hair behind her ear. The warmth of his fingers shot through her as he made the disturbingly gentle gesture, and her pulse began to jump at an alarming rate.

"Oh, hi, Hyun Chul. When did you get in?"

At Woo Jin's words, Sun Mi let out a sigh, unsure whether it was born of relief or frustration.

The progress on the layout was more advance than expected, and actual shooting would be completed before Christmas. Sun Mi's contract with Hyun Chul ran through March, and she knew he would not release her before the contract expired.

Woo Jin's studio was crowded as Sun Mi was sharing the spotlight with an eight-month-old boy. She met with the child and his young mother, and was both surprised and amused by the baby's resemblance to her.

"Do you know how hard it was to find a child with your looks?" Hyun Chul asked, approaching from across the room.

"Isn't he beautiful?" Her voice was warm as she rubbed her cheeks against the soft down of his hair.

"Spectacular," he agreed. "He could be yours."

When they were ready, Woo Jin asked Sun Mi to just play with the baby so they could take natural and spontaneous shots. Sun Mi built blocks with the baby, rolled on her back and lifted the child over her head, etc. Soon they were both so absorbed with each other that they hardly noticed Woo Jin's movement or soft click of the camera. Sun Mi was acting out her fantasy, and immersed herself into the motherhood role with ease.

While holding the child, Sun Mi suddenly realized she longed to have a child of her own with a man whom she loved. She closed her eyes and rubbed her cheek against the baby's. When she opened them again, she found herself staring up into Hyun Chul's intense gaze.

She held her eyes level a moment and drifted quietly that this was the man whom she loved but refused to acknowledge it. Now, there was no denying it that she wanted to have his baby. She needed time to think and sort out her feelings, and was profoundly relieved when Woo Jin signaled the finish.

"It's going to take some time to break down and set up for the next segment, Sun Mi." Woo Jin consulted his watch. "Go grab a bite before you change. Give it an hour."

Sun Mi assented with a wave of relief at the prospect of some time alone.

"I'll go with you."

"Oh, no," she protested, picking up her coat and hurrying out. His brow lifted at her frantic tone. "I mean, don't bother. You must have work to do. You must have to get back to your office or something."

"Yes, my work never ceases," Hyun Chul acknowledged with a heavy dose of mockery. "But once in a while I have to eat."

He helped her with her coat and rested his hands on her shoulders. His fingers tightened and turned her to face him.

"It was not my intention to have you for lunch, Sun Mi." The words were soft, at odds with the temper darkening eyes. "Will you never cease to be suspicious of me?"

Sun Mi felt trapped when they got into his car and she tried to ease her tension and slow the incessant drumming of her heart.

"Look, it's beautiful, isn't it?" She indicated the trees, their bare branches now robbed with snow. "I love the snow," she chattered on, unable to bear the silence. "Everything seems clean and fresh and friendly. It makes it seem more like......"

"Home?" he supplied.

"Yes," she said weakly, retreating from his penetrating gaze.

Sitting in a small booth, Sun Mi babbled about whatever subject that came to mind, and chattering to avoid Hyun Chul seeing through her secret.

"Are you O.K., Sun Mi?" Hyun Chul asked suddenly. "You've been very jumpy lately." His eyes were sharp and probing and Sun Mi feared they would penetrate her mind and read the secret written there.

"If it's only business that bothers you," he said abruptly, "I believe I'm qualified to predict the reaction will be tremendous." He eyes reached out and held hers. "You'll be a sensation, Sun Mi. Offers will come pouring in - magazines, television, and products for endorsement. You'll be in a position to pick and choose."

"Oh." Was all that she could manage.

His brows knitted dangerously. "Doesn't it excite you? Isn't that what you've always wanted?" he asked bluntly.

"Of course it is," she stated with a great deal more enthusiasm than she was feeling. "I'd have to be insane not to be thrilled, and I'm grateful for the opportunity you gave me."

"Save your gratitude." He cut her off curtly. "This project has been a result of teamwork. Whatever you gain from it, you've earned." He drew out his wallet. "If you're finished, I'll drop you back before I return to the office."

She nodded mutely, unable to comprehend what she had said to arouse his anger.

The final phase of shooting was underway. Sun Mi was awed by the beauty of the negligee on her when she caught sight of herself in the full-length mirror. White and filmy, it floated around her slim curves, falling in gentle folds to her ankles. The setup for the shoot was both romantic and subtle.

Woo Jin let out a low whistle when he saw Sun Mi. "You're gorgeous. Every man who sees your picture will be dying for your love, and every woman will be putting herself in your place. Sometimes you still amaze me."

She laughed and moved to join him as the studio door opened. Turning, the gown drifting about her, she saw Hyun Chul entered the room with Sun Hee on his arm. Their eyes locked and his traveled slowly over her with the intensity of a physical caress.

He took his time in bringing his eyes back to her face. "You look extraordinary, Sun Mi."

"Thanks." She swallowed the huskiness of her voice and her gaze moved from his to encounter Sun Hee's icy stare.

"We're just getting started." Woo Jin's matter-of-fact tone shattered the spell.

"Don' let us hold things up," Hyun Chul said easily. "Sun Hee wanted to see the project that's been keeping me so busy."

His implication that Sun Hee had a stake in his life caused Sun Mi's spirit to plummet. Shaking off encroaching depression, she reminded herself that what she felt for Hyun Chul was strictly one-sided.

Woo Jin quickly directed Sun Mi into action, and told her to view the camera as the man she loved. She swallowed and obeyed. Slowly, she allowed her dreams to take command, allowed the camera to become Hyun Chul.

"That does it, Sun Mi."

Lost in her own world, she blinked and stared at Woo Jin without comprehension.

"That was great. I fell in love with you myself."

"I suppose we could get married and breed little lenses," she murmured as she headed for the dressing room.

"Hyun Chul, that negligee is simply marvelous," Sun Hee's words halted Sun Mi's progress. "I really must have it. You can get it for me, can't you?" Sun Hee's voice was low and seductive.

"Hmm? Sure," he assented, his eyes on Sun Mi. "If you want it, Sun Hee."

Sun Mi's mouth fell open with astonishment. His casual gift to the woman at his side wounded her beyond belief. She cried inwardly when she was in the dressing room. How could he? The gown was special, it was hers, and she belonged in it. She was appalled at the thought of Hyun Chul caressing Sun Hee in that negligee. A fierce anger began to replace her pain. She stripped off the negligee, folded it and dropped it off into a box. When she left the dressing room, she saw Hyun Chul sitting alone. She marched to him and dropped the box in front of him.

"For your friend. You'll want to have it laundered first."

She turned to make her exit with as much dignity as possible, but was outmaneuvered as his hand closed over her wrist.

"What's eating you up, Sun Mi?" He stood, keeping his grip firm and towering over her.

"Eating me?" she repeated, glaring up at him. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Drop it, Sun Mi," he ordered, the familiar steel entering both voice and eyes. "You're upset, and I want to know why."

"Upset?" She tugged fiercely at her arm. "If I'm upset, it's my own affair. It's not in my contract that I'm obliged to explain my emotions to you." She attempted to pry herself free, but he merely transferred his hold to her shoulders and shook her briskly.

"Stop it! What's gotten into you?"

"I'll tell you what's gotten into me," she snapped. "You walk in here with your girlfriend and just hand over that gown. She just bats her eyes and says the word, and you hand it over."

"Is that what all this is about?" he demanded. "Good heavens, woman, if you want the damn thing, I'll get you one."

"Don't you patronize me," she raged at him. "You can't buy my good humor with your trinkets. Keep your generosity for someone who appreciates it and let me go."

"You're not going anywhere until you calm down and we get to the root of the problem."

Her eyes were suddenly filled with uncontrollable tears. "You don't understand." She sniffed as tears coursed down her cheeks. "You just don't understand anything."

"Stop it!" He began to brush her tears away with his hand. "Tears are my downfall. I can't handle them. Stop it, Sun Mi, don't cry like that."

"It's the only way I know how to cry," she said, weeping miserably.

He swore under his breath. "I don't know what this is all about Sun Mi. A nightgown can't be worth all this! Here, take it - it's obviously important to you." He picked up the box, holding it out to her. "Sun Hee has plenty." The last words, uttered in an attempt to lighten her mood, had precisely the reverse effect.

"I don't want it. I don't ever want to see it again," she shouted. "I hope you and your lover thoroughly enjoy it." She whirled and ran from the studio with surprising speed.

Outside, she stood on the sidewalk trying to hail a cab while cursing at her stupidity. As she stepped forward to flag down a cab, she was spun around to face the buttons on Hyun Chul's leather coat.

"I've had enough of your tantrums, Sun Mi, and I don't tolerate being walked out on." His voice was low and dangerous, but Sun Mi tilted back her head to meet his gaze boldly.

"We have nothing more to say."

"We have plenty more to say."

"I don't expect you to understand." She spoke with exaggerated patience. "You're just a man."

She heard the short intake of his breath as he moved toward her.

"You're right about one thing, I am a man," she heard him whisper before he pulled her close, crushing her mouth in an angry kiss, forcing her lips to open to his demands. The world emptied but for his touch, and the two stood locked together, oblivious to the people who walked the sidewalk behind them.

When at last he freed her, she drew back from him, her breath coming quickly. "Now that you've proven your masculinity, I really must go."

"Come back upstairs. We'll finish our discussion."

"Our discussion is finished."

"Not quite." He began to drag her back toward the studio.

I can't be alone with him now, she thought wildly. Not now, when I'm already so vulnerable. He could see too much too easily.

"Really, Hyun Chul." She was proud of the calmness of her voice. "I do hate to create a scene, but if you continue to play the caveman I shall be forced to scream. And I can scream very loud."

"No, you wouldn't."

"Yes," Sun Mi corrected, digging in her heels. "I would."

"Sun Mi." He turned, maintaining possession of her arm. "We have things to clear up."

"Hyun Chul, it's gotten blown out of proportion." She spoke sweetly, ignoring the weakness in her legs. "We've both had our outburst of temper - let's just leave it at that. The entire thing was silly anyway."

"It didn't seem silly to you upstairs."

The slender hold on her control was slipping rapidly, and she looked up at him in a last ditch attempt. "Please, Hyun Chul drops it. We're all temperamental sometimes."

"Very well," he agreed after a pause. "We'll drop it for the time being."

Sun Mi sighed and felt that if she stayed any longer she ran the risk of agreeing to whatever he asked. When a cab stopped in front of her, she immediately opened the door and stepped into it without saying goodbye to Hyun Chul.



Note from Messenger:

I'm very impressed by the friendship that you guys developed through the love of JDG. I can just imagine how thrilled all of you were when you met each other in KL (?). There is a sense of kinship when you are able to put a face on each name, isn't it? Hopefully, JDG will appear in your next gathering in Seoul in the year 2005. Good Luck! Have a good weekend! Thanks again!