Hidden Love
Han Yu Pin Yin: Cang Ai
Author: Jennifer
Source: AAE Village
Translators: Evie

After work, he didn't go home instead he went to pub for a drink. He really need to take break from all the tension.

Recently, in work and in relationship, nothing seem to goes well at all for him.

In terms of work, the Morning Eve's program that he in charge with, viewership rate is dropping, advertisement are less too to be in Morning Eve's slot. This have caused the dropping in company profits too. Add on to it, the plan of using attractive and high pay to bring in other TV station program hosts is not as successful as he expected too. He is such a strong willed person, with all this obstacles, he no longer smile. Trying really hard to come up with plans to change the situation, but in the past few board meeting, nothing seem to be able to agree upon to overcome this issues. Furthermore, things between him and San Mei......hhmmm!

He is the regular customer in this pub, the waiter lead to his usual seat, serves him with his favorite liquor.
He lighted up a cigarette.
Under the influences of nicotine and Martini, he tried to find a time of his own.
"Director Yin, long time no see. Been busy recently?" The manager came to say hi.
"Yeah, haven't been here for a long time."
He used to come here everyday after works for a few drinks, but since he got to know with San Mei, he seldom come here already.

Is she all right? In order not to think about her, he kept himself very busy during the day with works, but whenever he is back at home in the evening, San Mei voices, laughter's, every single moves of her start to play in his mind.

These few days, he doesn't have her news at all.
Between them, maybe from the start until now, he is only who have the intention to start something beautiful! He tried to make up some explanation for himself to believe in.

He took out his mobile phone, looking at the screen, that familiar number he often call, have the urge to dial over, talk to her even if being scolded by her, he doesn't mind too.
He still not sure whether to call her or not, and this have been on for the whole week.
He took a deep breath, sighed....put back the mobile phone in his pocket. Took up the glass of Martini and finish it in one gulp. He is a good drinker, doesn't get drunk easily.

"Director Yin, there is a new piano in the shop. Do you want to try to play it?"
The Pub manager knows he plays piano well.

He haven't been playing piano for a long time.
At home, there's a piano that his mother left behind. After he bought his own place, he moved the piano from his father place to there but never had the time to play it at all.

Walked to the piano, took a seat, the note rushes from his fingertip releases, moving gracefully on the piano, beautiful music were been play from the piano. This is Chopin masterpiece to his motherland when she fall into hand of the Russia.. The bosom indignant is raising the mood wrote down "the revolutionary etude". On the piano, Xiang Zhe heartily play on the piano plays, expresses releases the innermost feelings depression,...Everytime whenever he is not in a good mood he will play this piece of music. Maybe it's because of the music, his mood become slightly better. But he only play half of it. Anyhow today, this piece doesn't help him much; suddenly, without realizing, he started playing "We All Fall in Love Sometimes". After played a small part, Xiang Zhe smile unhappily at himself, thinking about San Mei, this is her favorite piece.

In the midst of sadness, there's a little of sweetness came up to him thinking about her.

Along with the music, he tried to let go all his problems. Don't even remember how many pieces of music he had played throughout the night.

He didn't realize at one particular corner in the Pub, there is this pair of beautiful big eyes looking at him the whole night, paying attention to his expression, knowing that he is unhappy and trouble by something.

Got home almost midnight already.
Just finished taking his bath, while opening his briefcase, his mobile ringing...

"Yin Xiang Zhe"
"Xue Zhang...." This...This is the voice that he missed most...coming over from the mobile...
He was surprise and excited and heartbeat increases too....


Artist: Elton John
Song: We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Wise men say
It looks like rain today
It crackled on the speakers
And trickled down the sleepy subway trains
For heavy eyes could hardly hold us
Aching legs that often told us
It's all worth it
We all fall in love sometimes

The full moon's bright
And starlight filled the evening
We wrote it and I played it
Something happened it's so strange this feeling
Naive notions that were childish
Simple tunes that tried to hide it
But when it comes
We all fall in love sometimes

Did we, didn't we, should we couldn't we
I'm not sure `cause sometimes we're so blind
Struggling through the day
When even your best friend says
Don't you find
We all fall in love sometimes

And only passing time
Could kill the boredom we acquired
Running with the losers for a while
But our Empty Sky was filled with laughter
Just before the flood
Painting worried faces with a smile

Since last week incident, he didn't too an initiative to call her at all, maybe it's because he is mad at her! She didn't SMS him at all too.
That day, he was at her office building meeting up one of his client, and knowing that she works around there too, without informing her in advance, he went straight to her office to look for her. Caught in surprise to see him at the reception area, she was mad and started scolding him.
"Why did you come here?! Previously, that "tea time date" cakes my colleagues all assumed that I have boyfriend already, and that's are very irritating already and now you are here, how am I going to be able to clear my name?!"
Her face was red and brows knitted together staring at him....He never seen her so angry before.

At that moment, suddenly he felt very down...she is that anxious to draw a clear between their relationship. He felt as though he is stupid,...just like he is the only one wanted and miss her all the time, like an idiot.
He decided that he will stop all this nonsense, doesn't want himself to be more deeply attached to her. He manage to stop himself from needing to hear her voices, the need to see her, but still missing her deeply in his heart unconsciously, he started seeing her in his dreams.....

He realized,.... he is deeply deeply attached to her: not sure from when, he already got used to have her in his life.
Every Sunday both of them will find a time to meet up, it's either he follows her around to Seoul city, or he will just drives her around to countryside. Both of them always end up saying goodbye to each other after late night.
He loves to listen to her voice and her happy and joyful smile...

"I thought you are angry at me already. Thought that you wouldn't want to speak to anymore." He thought of last week incident again.

"Errr....that day, I'm sorry la!" That day I wasn't in the good mood, so you became the unlucky one la!" She explained...
On that day, the project that her colleague handle went wrong, and she didn't manage to deliver the proposal to client place on time, her company lost a big business. Her boss was extremely angry and in the meeting, infront of everyone, he pointed that all that she knows dating with boyfriend only, doesn't take work seriously! She felt unfair to be pointed infront of everyone, and all the anger have nothing and no one for her to let go too...and so unlucky he was there to see at the same time, in the end he become her victim.
Listening to her telling her part of story, he finally realize that he is just really going there at a bad time that's all.
"So...after me becomes your "victim", did your mood becomes better?" He asked while laughing,....this is the first time he laugh throughout the whole week.
"Nope, even worst." She admitted it to him,...laughing too at herself...
She is angry and felt really bad throwing her temper at him like that, her mood was lousy for the next few days. Actually she wanted to apologize to him when he called, but who knows he never called at all.
"Xue Zhang, you are angry at me, right?" She asked...
He just laugh without answering her.
He is angry but not at her, is himself. Angry at himself why being so useless...missing her so much...
"Since you have called, I'm not angry anymore." He told her the truth.
"Really?" She wanted to call him to apologize but just doesn't want to lose face only...
"Do you need me to swear?" He laughed.
"Then I can stop worrying already. You really bad you know? Why didn't call me la? I felt so bad for the past few days only...." She "blaming" him...
"You were so fierce that day, who dares to call you. Zhen San Mei! How can you blaming me on not calling you now?!".
She laughed feeling really not nice for blaming him too.

"Miss, why haven't go to bed yet? It's very late already, you know? What's wrong? Miss me is it? He teases her, thought feeling in the heart just like a piece blue sky.
"Well..It have nothing to do with you...Furthermore, you haven't sleep too what!"
"What can I do for you then? Or you just call purposely to "argue" with me is it?"
She never thought of calling him this late.
Argue? Suddenly, she thought of the BBQ incident, he told her that recently she likes to "argue" with him all the time.
"I don't have so much energy to argue with you, have something serious to discuss with you." Her laughter makes his heart to raise a gentle, sweet mood and... Happy.
"What's so serious then?" He finds it funny and asked her.
"Mmm! Mr. is Yin Xiang Zhe, just now you knit the brows right?"
Wondering what's this little lady up to...
"Now you walked to the sliding door ...Open it...Now! Quickly!"
Althought she haven't been to his home before, but she knows every corner of his house. She is the interior design for his place. She remembers every single details of this place.
He stood up and walked to the window. He followed her instructions....and opened up the window.
"Ready?" She asked
"Yup...What's the next step?"
"Now, look up the sky, and take 3 deep breath."
He did it accordingly.
A very pleasant and relax feeling came up to him.
"Good. Tell me now what have you seen? What have you feel? What have you hear?"
"I saw a dark sky with full of star hanging on it...I felt the breeze of the wind...and I heard....you.....non-stop talking..."
She laughed out at him. He laughed too.
"Xue Zhang, please be serious ok?!" She is angry and happy at the same time with him.
"So, we are going to start Stage 2."
"What Stage 2?"
She ignored him completely.
"Xue Zhang, what do you think is the real secret to success?"
"Should be the correct decision-making!"
He answered her question, but the corners of the mouth raise as soon as wipes up the smiling face.
His friend forwarded this saying that to pursue a goal with determination phrase to him before, he finds it very interesting. Until now he could still remembered it.
""How to made the correct decision-making?" She asked in addition to that.
"Must depend on the experiences, but experiences inheritance often from accumulation of wrong decision that have made."
"Xue Zhang...you have heard about this phrase before ? "she smiled.
"Young lady, ? You asked me to be blow by the cold wind, and told me this story. Now could you tell me what are trying to let me know?"He closes the window.
"Xue Zhang... This evening I saw you in Pub. I...saw you playing piano."
Her voice changed to low-spirited.
When he played "We All Fall in Love Sometime", she saw him.
He looks like tired and troubled the whole evening ...the brow knitted up only.
"Is it! How come I didn't see you?"
She had not replied that, just continue to said, "I looked at you the whole night, you have drink a lot liquor,and smoked a lot too... You look like tired and troubled, very unhappy too, I suddenly felt like did not know you at all, I don't like seeing such you...." Her whole evening all pays attention at him. If it is not because of she was with her colleague in the same place, she really wants to go over and acompanies him.

No matter is in London's, or even after returned to Korea, whenever she is cried, heart-broken, and even when her works is not pleasant, he is always by her side to cheer her up. Coming out with all kind of ideas to tease her, help her to get over with those unhappy things. So naturally she thought he is that Happy man which he often mentions. He is elated with success, nothing could be difficult for him. But tonight, is her first time feels his heaviness and the sadness, let her felt so "heart aching" (sakit hati, kalau faham), the whole night her heart couldn't be peaceful.

After got the home, she tosses about on the bed, in the heart keeps thinking about him, eventually she couldn't take it anymore...she picks up the phone, gave him a call.

"Xue Zhang, no matter how smart and successful the person is, it is also impossible to do the everything according to one own wishes, don't be too disappointed at yourself. Can't be like this, you know? Next time try harder, and don't repeat the same mistakes will do. Try to forgive and to cherish yourself, give oneself little more encouragements,and less a little blaming, don't you often encourage me like this? Oh! It is often to be said than to be done, right but at least we must try harder to work it."

"San Mei.."

"Xue Zhang, let me finish with what I wanted to say first. I once read in a book, the author said this; let's us throw away all problems out from our mind, relax our body and enjoy the breeze of the wind, use our eyes to touch the mountain, use our heart to open the door of the mountain, then the door to our heart can be opened too, from there we can restart to face the world again." She recited it to him.
"Xue Zhang, can you promise me, remember these words, never forget it? Although I did not know why you are unhappy, but saw you in such look, in my heart aches."
"Xue Zhang, whenever I am unhappy, I will look up to the spacious sky, try hard to think of these speeches. They are very effective. Next time when you felt annoyed, try it too, please?
"And one more thing please don't drink and smoke so much too, it's very bad for health."
Her voice is such gentle, her kind intention is such touching.
Over the years, other than his mother will speak to him like that, none else had care for him so much. She is the first person using of such soft and gentle words at him, Xiang Zhe doesn't know what to say at this moment. He is speechless for a while.
She gentlely speaks to him...let him knows that she will be by his side too when he is down and that melted him, untied all the knots in his heart too.

"San Mei... Thank You. I will remember it by heart."
He strongly covers the innermost feelings of excitement.
"Then... I felt more relieved. Xue Zhang...Good night." She wanted to end the call already.
"Please hold... ?"he stopped her, as he wanted to listen to her voice for a little longer.
"What matter?"
"Are you free this Thursday evening? Somebody gave me two tickets of CATS. Do you have time to go?"
Actually he wanted to invite her, but because of the last week matter, he never have the opportunity to ask her.
"Really?" She smiles.
This CATS tickets was already sold long time ago. It was fully booked by many big organization. Did not expected that Xue Zhang will have the tickets.
"Even if I might be fired by my company, I also must go." She said it happily.
"Settled then. Tomorrow I will get someone to deliver the invitation letter and the admission ticket to you."
"Good.., Xue Zhang, Have a pleasant dream tonight!" She said good night sweetly to him.
"Same to you."
He laughs and just about to makes the telephone call, she stopped by calling out him.
"Xue Zhang... You played "We All Fall in Love Sometime" very well! I love it alot."

Tonight, he slept well for the first time in this week.