Hidden Love
Han Yu Pin Yin: Cang Ai
Author: Jennifer
Source: AAE Village
Translators: Evie

Thursday, just past 3 o'clock, she came out with some excuses to take 1/2 day leave to go home.
In the invitation letter that Xue Zhang sent over had written clearly formal clothes admission, she had not thought this could be such formal occasion.
In front of the full-length mirror, after hesitation half of the day, she finally had decided to put on an ankle length black velvet dinner dress with a halter neckline. The dress has a shoulder baring halter neck and a low cut neckline. The neck and one hip are trimmed with black rectangular bugle beads edged with round black beads. This was bought the other day on the way back from England trip, when she is in Paris. She falls in love with the dress at first sight, likes its tailormanship and the design. This is the first time had the opportunity to put it on. She has selected a pair pearl earring to put on, takes a look in the mirror she herself also very satisfied. Hopefully this is formal enough, she thought.

Today, suddenly Xiang Zhe had to attend something out side the Seoul, worried that he might couldn't make it to pick her up from her place, both of them had agreed to meet up at the Opera Theater in Seoul Arts Center.

The performance starting at 7pm, and at 6pm is the reception cocktail party. Since she doesn't know anyone else that are attending this musical show, she decided to go in 20 minutes after the cocktail started.

"Wei! You better don't simply start conservation with strangers and make friends with them." She remembers what he told her early morning in the telephone call.
"Why?"
"I will be jealous." He laughed loudly over the other side.
"Why should be jealous about?? You.... . . Not even my boyfriend!" Her cheeks unexpectedly somewhat turned red and hot.
"I'm not...Oh, is really disappointing! Then who am I to you?"
He is looking for an answer from there, as if he said on intentionally to let her know.
What he had said, have been disturbing her throughout the whole morning, she can't even concentrate to work. What is he trying to say?

She arrived at the ballroom 6.40 sharp, the party already started, and among the guests there were many well-known political business celebrities. It is quite crowded, for a while she couldn't find him at anywhere too. Thinking of just have to wait for a little while more when they are in the theater, she will definitely see him, then she started to feel relieved. While waiting , there were a few young men came up to her to say hello, but every time she talks to them casually for a while and then politely excused herself.

All by herself, she stood at the corner in the ballroom, curiously watches at this upper class of society grand feast.

Suddenly someone came to close to her and in a soft voice by her ear, said , "This young lady, have we met before?"
She was shocked and turn over staring widely with her big eyes....
"What la! You have to do it intentionally to frighten me is it?!"
"Yeah right! I have been waving at you at opposite for a while already, and you... can't even see me."
As soon as she entered the ballroom door, he saw her already.
Today she is exceptionally beautiful.
She does not need heavy make-up or much accessories to make her beautiful. She just naturally have that enchanting charms that captures everyone attention easily. He just stood at opposite looking at her most of the time.

"Is it? There are too many people around. I'm just totally bedazzled." She smiles.
"You are very beautiful today, I almost could not recognize?" He couldn't help but to praise her beauty tonight.
She blushed, the bashful appearance is even more attractive.
"Really? Tonight Xue Zhang is very good looking too."
She mimic his tone to praise him as well.
Today he is wearing the classic black tuxedo looking really dashing in it.
Actually, it doesn't matter where he stand at , he is always in the crowd's focus point. Just like this, only for a while he stood next to her, she thought already had many vision who are looking toward them.
"Looked at that, everybody is looking at you." She said in low voice.
"They are looking ?!" He winks at her.

"Let's go, we have to go in already!" He pulls her arm, walks towards the performance hall.

He have been a big fan of CATS but tonight he is actually somehow couldn't pay much attention to the play. At the corner of the eye, there she is sitting next to him looking so beautiful.

That big bright eyes of her, small sexy red lips of her, plus her that delightful smiling face, and soft-spoken voice of hers....all these had attracts him deeply.

The beauty of her at this moment, enjoying every single moment of the play, he remembers when he first met her in Cambridge; that exact same look when she does her drawing...slowly, he started thinking how they acquainted with one another all the things they have done together since then.

Not sure from when,her appearance, every single moves of her already deep deep imprint into his heart. She makes his heart beat faster, gives him strength to face the world, and gets him excited whenever they meet up.

He once thought that was not a love, he does not need the love. But he has not once had such feeling to other female, even Yong Xi the person whom he grows up together.
That night, when she asked him not to drink so much again, not to smoke so much too...the speech repeatedly to linger in his heart.
Her sentiment profound meaning sincere speech, lets him be honest facing his own heart, he was already deeply falls in love with her without any hold back.

He will think of her frown and smile for no reason. He will because of whenever he thinks of her, he laugh foolishly all alone, and he awaits patiently to each time they meet up with each other. He will feel disappointed and loss when he did not received her phone call. Every time when he passes through her office, he will stop intentionally, to hope he might can see her just for a moment will do, even if just from far.

Although he is always looks clear and sure with everything, but inside his heart ...mighty waves turbulent feelings going on in it... He was really truly is falling into the web of love.

However, what kind of feeling she had for him? He looked her beautiful features, he asked himself in the heart .

Suddenly in the applause, he collected back his troubled mind, everyone around is standing up applauding, it's already the end of the first part of the play.

"Has not attended such good performance to meet for a long time!" She smiles was saying that, but she is like avoiding making any eye contacts with him.

Xiang Zhe to suggested to go out for some fresh air, since the 2nd part of the play will start in another 20 mins only. San Mei follow closely behind him and, only walk several steps, they heard some people calling his name. The person coming towards them is a pair of young men and women, Xiang Zhe stop to talk to them for a while.

He turned around to look for her while speaking to them, saw her standing only few steps away from him. She smiles and waves at him, pointing at the art gallery indicating to him that she will be in there waiting for him.

When he returned to her side, the second half performance is going to start already.

"Bumps into two reporters, was stucked with them for a while, just managed to get away from them." He explains.
"San Mei.... ? "he starts to speak but hesitated
"What's the matter?" Has not seen him like this before....as though afraid to say something.
"When the play ended, we walked out separately all right? Go to the city parliament exit, I pick you from there." Had not thought of he will bump into reporter in here and that two especially from those entertainment news. He did not want her to receive those senseless disturbance because of him later on.
"Was it because of that two people a moment ago?" She nodded to agree.
He smiled looking very reluctant to do so.

After the concert ended, she went to wait for him as agreed at the city parliament exit,and he is already there waiting for her.

She finds it very funny, just like 007 movies plots only, after getting into his car she couldn't help but laughed.
"What so funny now?" He smiles while asking.
"Xue Zhang, what kind of superhuman are you? Even reporter won't let you go?" She smiles asking him.
"Who am I? you also not sure, still dares to be with me in the same place?!" He teases her.
"Who said that I'm not sure?" She doesn't agree with him at all.
"You are Yin Xiang Zhe, the MBS business planning department director, studied in Cambridge, likes the music, likes to drive fast, likes jogging, does not like fishing... and... also ... ?" she suddenly thought she knows very little of him only.
He smiles, looks at her.
"It's all your fault isn't it? Never talks much about yourself." She pouted,complaint.
"You never asked. I thought perhaps you are not interested to my matter at all."
He cautiously examine her expression.
"I have not thought that many!"
She had never thought of the must to ask him about his family background or his past. He always avoid discussing his family's matter, so since he does not want to say, she does not want to asked to much too.

He drove slowly up to the hill, she wanted to go back there where they saw the meteor rain.
"Do you know who is MBS parent company?" He suddenly asked her.
"It's .... Wen Rong Corporation."
She took a look at him wondering why did he ask this all of a sudden.
"Then...do you know is the boss of Wen Rong Corporation?"
"It's Yin Zheng Hao."
He nodded, "He is my father."
She stare widely at him.
A totally silent in the car for a while....
After a while, she finally said something, "You doesn't want me to know about your family background, is it?"
She doesn't sound angry at him at all for keeping this from her. He felt relieved to know that.
"Since young, no matter where I go to, everyone will just acknowledge me as 'this or that person son', only infront of you, I feel free, I am who I am, I cherished our this relationship deeply, the honesty and sincere relationship that we have...could you understand my intention?"
She nodded. More or less, she could understand his intention. If not, he wouldn't have to move out from his rich dad place and stayed on his own in the apartment
"Just take tonight for instance! To entertain these people is part of my work, I can't stop them from using me as topic to write on, and I'm too lazy to clarify all those gossip too but I can't allow you to get unnecessary disturbance from them, that's why I had to asked you to wait for me that city parliament exit, can you understand what am I doing here?
She shook her head a little, "Actually I'm the one who need to say thank you to you. You are such thoughtful in every where." She understand perfectly his intention is to protect her.
He continue driving,..... after a moment, he asked, "San Mei....Will you still be able to treat me like how you used to?".....

She thinks for a while, how to treat him like how she used to?How does she have been treating him? Is it like when they are in London? Or such as when they just came back from England? Or is like the present... like this?? Which point of time should she return?
She already did not know how to treat like him like it used to be...

His look makes her heart melt, his thoughtfulness lingers in her heart every now and then, his words often playing in her mind.

Tonight in the music hall, when she look into his eyes, her heartbeats race...
In her mind, once again, thinking his hug at the country club.

His intentions and thoughtfulness, she understand them from the bottom of her heart. But she just has no way to open it up, walk straight towards him, at this point she still chose to avoid the truth, her feeling, hiding far away from him, she is afraid to admit that she had fall in love with him, perhaps,...it was her wounded heart...reminding her the painful experience with You Zheng. Her heart broken once, been hurt really badly, she's really very much afraid; furthermore he is this kind of outstanding man, by his side should have at least 1000 girls that are more outstanding than her! So long as she can continue by his as his Xue Mei..it is more than enough already...
But like this is somewhat unfair to him? She should get out of the way, isn't it? She frequently asks herself. But, always thought herself liked being attached deeply to him, somehow couldn't take that first step out.

She lowered the head, nips the lower lip,and said, "Previously how I used to treat you...I'll treat you the same too from now on.."
Xiang Zhe looked deeply at her, her speech let him have one kind of unfathomable feeling.

Tonight is the fourth day of lunar month, does not see the moon, all over the sky star willful winks the eye. The mountain breeze blows gently, if wasn't wearing his jacket, perhaps she also had no way to stand to appreciate the night scene up there.
She have been always like this, he only said that wanted to drive around for awhile, she have to suggest to come up to the mountain to look at the stars, from the start had not thought of that she is wearing dinner wear.

She looks the sky,...lost in thought, has not all spoken for a while.
Xiang Zhe couldn't bear when she said nothing, it always let him feel uneasy.
"What are you looking at? What is on your mind?"
She looks up to the starry sky, "Xue Zhang, some people said, everyone of us can find a star that represent ourselves in the sky."
Xiang Zhe looked up, smiling and said; "Is it true? Then which star is yours?"
She smiled a little: "It's in the very remote very remote place, you can't see it."
She is just not striking or brightest star in the sky.
"Xue Zhang? You think which star is you?" She turns over looked at Xiang Zhe.
Xiang Zhe irrelevantly replies that, "Next time certainly will need to remember to bring the telescope along."
He wants to look for her star, only wants to be the star nearby hers.

"Ah! How nice if today is Friday, then can goes home late." She saying it as hoping that she could stay a little while longer.
"You are not afraid of being scolded again?"
She smiled...shaking her head.
"AhChoo..." Xiang Zhe sneeze.
"Oh! Xue Zhang, let's go quickly!" She is scolding herself in her heart, only remember to look at the scenery, completely forgotten about him...only wearing a shirt.
"Why? Don't want to stay little while longer already?" She just said that she wants to hang out a little longer.
"Don't want la! Afterwards you, this most eligible bachelor in the entire Seoul catch cold, I can't bear the responsibility then!" She turns round walked towards the car.

"What most eligible bachelor? Just only then said that will treat me just like previously, now starts to say these weird weird stuff!" Xiang Zhe pressed up the brow, doesn't know what to say already.

She make an ugly face to him, then got into the car.
On the way home, she is very quiet, only looking outside the window.
"Tired already is it?" Xiang Zhe asked gently.
She turned over, "Nah...I am just looking at the night scene."
He took a look at her, continues to drive.
She looked at him,and she gently sighs in the heart. She thought that, he certainly is the brightest star across the horizon.

The grass seeks on the ground for the companion, the high tree satisfies the sky loneliness.
He is the tall big tree, and she is just the grass.
She suddenly thought the distance between them are much more wider now.

A disappointed feeling wells up in her heart ..........................