Hidden Love
Han Yu Pin Yin: Cang Ai
Author: Jennifer
Source: AAE Village
Translators: Jules

It was a spring afternoon.  The sun was shining warmly, and there was a relaxed ambience in the air.

XZ arrived at the departmental store in town, as arranged with SM.
“Where are you?” Her sweet voice called out to him on the phone.
“Me?  I’m….in your heart”
She laughed.  A sweetness filled her heart.
“What nonsense!” she said.
“Where are YOU, then?” he asked in return.
“You should know the answer to that one!  I’m…..in YOUR heart, of course!” She returned, with a laugh.
She was on the fifth level.

When he got there, XZ realised it was the children’s department.  He found her at the area displaying baby accessories.
“What are you doing here?” he smiled at her.
“My classmate will be a mother in a month.  I want to get something for the little one,” she replied.  “All these little things are so adorable, I just can’t make up my mind.”
She searched up and down, taking her time.
“Is she having a boy or girl?” he finally asked.
She made a face as she replied, “Uh-oh! I forgot to ask!”
“Oh you!  Sometimes you’re really not very bright!” he shook his head at her.
“Look! This is so cute! And the colour is OK for either girl or boy as well.”  She held up a light blue bunny suit, with a smile that hid her eyes.
“Sir, how may I help you and your wife?” a sales assistant come up to help.
Sir?  Wife?  SM blushed and shook her head, “We’re not…..”
XZ held on to her tightly, and calmly replied, “Thanks, we’re just browsing.”
Taking her hand, he moved on to the area displaying music boxes and novelty clocks.

When they got there, SM was immediately entranced by the showcases displaying music boxes with dolls.  She picked up one with a ballerina wearing a pink tutu, dancing to “Ballade Pour Adeline”, completely engrossed by it.
“Just look at you!  You’re not much different from a little girl yourself,” he commented with a smile.
“When I was young, I always wished I could have one of these music boxes.  I felt that the little dancer dancing round and round would only see the best that the world had to offer.  When I was in junior high, I used to spend my Saturdays in departmental stores in front of these displays, just looking at these music boxes.  I could never bear to leave.”
“Didn’t you ever tell your father you wanted one?”
She smiled and shook her head, “That was only a little girl’s dream.”
“It’s really lovely,” she said with a sigh, as the put the music box back in its place.  “Let’s go have a look at the baby stuff again.”
“Wait a minute,”  XZ waved the sales assistant over, and bought the music box.  “I want to fulfill your dream,” he said seriously.  She was so touched, she just stood there, staring at him.
“Come on, stop dreaming.  Didn’t you say you wanted to get something for your classmate?”
 
“Sir, this is a special compilation of music specifically tailored for babies.  Would you and your wife like to listen to it?”
Oh no!  Here we go again….
“Uh….It’s OK,” XZ smothered a laugh.  “Just wrap this up, please.”  He had picked a musical toy that could be tied onto the bars of a cot.

SM could not wait to get away, once they settled the bill.  XZ could not stop laughing at her unease.
“What are you laughing at?” She glared at him.
“If someone were to bump into us buying things in the baby department, I wonder what they would think?” he teased.
She turned bright red. “It’s all your fault!  I didn’t ask you to come along!”
“Oh, the injustice of it all!  Didn’t we arrange to come and look at furniture?  How was I to know you would head off to the baby department?” He replied matter-of-factly.

His sofa had been ruined by a friend’s young child who was in possession of some deadly coloured pens.  They had tried getting them professionally cleaned, but in it was all in vain.  XZ then decided to get a new set, so the two of them spent many hours on the internet looking for something they liked.  They finally found it, and it was displayed in the store situated in the basement level.

She spotted the model they were after once they got to the sofa display area.  However, it was a different colour to what they wanted.
“It feels pretty comfortable when you sit on it.  I wonder if they’ve got the colour we want,” she commented while trying it out for firmness.
 “We’ll just get them to make one for us, then,” he replied.
“Oh Mr Director!  This is an import.  It will be really expensive if we have to get it custom-made!” she shook her head at him.
“You’re very careful with my money!  You’ll make a good wife one day…” he teased.
“Me?  I’m always careful with my clients’ money…” she returned.
“I’ll go and ask someone if they’ve got what we want,” ZX got up and started looking for some help.

SM stayed on the sofa, thinking about the time they had spent together in front of the computer, searching for the right sofa.  She chuckled.   She could not recall ever deriving so much pleasure from doing something so mundane.  It must really be love!

XZ returned after a little while, “They say they’ve got the stock in the warehouse.”  He was all smiles.
“Hey! Miss Zhen Shan Mei, I didn’t expect to see you here.”
SM looked around.  Standing beside XZ was a familiar face.  It was the manager of K&G furniture, Gao Xuan, someone she often dealt with in the course of her work.
“How does a busy person like you find the time to come down to the furniture display centre on a day like this? “ SM stood up and greeted him.
“You’ve got to find the time to check things out every now and then.  Is this Mr Yin a friend of yours?  What a coincidence!”
“Yes,” she nodded.  “So?  Do you have that sofa in No 3 colour?”
“For your friend, absolutely!  Even if we didn’t I’ll make sure we will!  Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it myself.”
“Thank you so much!” SM smiled.
“You’re always so gracious.  Next time, just give me a call, and I’ll take care of it.”  Gao Xuan was conscious of the fact that one was a regular client, and the other was the director of a TV station.  There was no way he was going to slip up on this sale.  Gao Xuan was giving them his best sales pitch.  XZ felt a slight irritation rising, but SM continued to listen with a smile, expressing a view point every now and then, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.  XZ took his hat off to her.
“We’ve got a new batch of designs coming in next month from France.  Why don’t you have a look at our latest catalogue?”  Gao Xuan droned on, as he went off to get a copy.
“You must be bored to death,” SM whispered.
“When I’m with you, I can never be bored,”  XZ put his arm around her shoulders.  SM smiled.
She sent him off on his own, knowing that he was being bored to tears.

XZ prowled around the bookshop upstairs, finally receiving her phone call after some time.  She was in the supermarket in the basement.

From a distance, he could her looking out for him, a large bag hanging from her arm.  He quickened his pace and relieved her of her load.  The bag was full of fruit and vegetables, milk, beer, noodles and other fresh food.
“Hmmm!  Why are you always thinking about food?” he commented.
 She glared at him, “What are you talking about?  It’s all for you!”
He felt a wave of sweetness course over him, as he thought back on that other Saturday morning when she came over.  Early in the morning, she had appeared before him as he awoke.  She had greeted him with a such tender kiss the minute he opened his eyes, he thought that he was still dreaming.  That morning, they had shared a memorable breakfast together – a breakfast that she had specially prepared for him.  How he longed for another morning just like that one….

“You’ve bought way too much, I won’t be able to finish it all.  Why don’t you take some of it home with you?”
She shook her head.  “I’ve just bought groceries for home yesterday.  Besides, Dad won’t be home for the whole of next week.”
“That settles it then.  You can come over for dinner after work.  There’s no way I’ll be able to finish all this up by myself,” XZ said in anticipation.
So that’s what it’s about! He’s trying to get me to have dinner with him!  SM thought to herself.
 “I give you an inch, and you take a mile,” she pouted at him.
“What  do you mean “take a mile”? I would really like for you to have dinner with me,” he countered.
She gave him a meaningful look as she entered the lift, “Let’s go.”
Darn!  Why couldn’t she be a little less astute when you need her to be? XZ thought.

“Time to go home!” she declared.
He drove on, and took the road to the right.
“Xue Zhang, Shui Dian is over that direction,” she reminded him.
“Didn’t you say you wanted to go home?” He asked doggedly, still heading in the original direction.
“When I said “home”, I naturally meant my home.  Your home is not mine,” she pouted at him.
“Oh, I see!  You still draw such a clear line between you and me.”
“Of course!  Your name is Yin, and mine is Zhen,” she smiled.
“Oh, yes.  You’re right, of course.  It’s just that I got a little confused after all those sales assistants talked about you being my wife….”  He rubbed his temple, and glanced at her.  As expected, she had turned a most delightful shade of red.
“Hmmm! I’d much rather not go to your home, though.  We’re always creeping around there, and you won’t even let me hold your hand.  It’s no fun at all,” he sighed.  She lowered her head and smiled secretly at his words.

In the end, they ended up at XZ’s home.  The minute they got in, XZ received an overseas call.  It sounded urgent, and he headed into the study to continue the conversation.  SM unloaded the groceries and packed them away, then sat in the lounge watching TV.  It was a long time before he finally appeared.

“What are you watching?” he asked.
“Nothing in particular.  I can’t believe the standard of TV programs nowadays,” she seldom watched TV on a Saturday afternoon.  “I just saw that children’s program on your station – left foot, right foot.”
“What did you think of it?”
“It’s really good.  Realistic, lively and interesting.  Children of today are really lucky.  It takes real effort to make something so good for children.  I hear that it’s won awards two years running, and has even made it on the export market.”
“Is it really that good?”
“Yes.”
“Thanks,” XZ beamed.
“All I did was praise your TV station. Aren’t you over-reacting a little?”
“It’s a real compliment to be praised by someone as lovely and intelligent as you.”
“Didn’t someone just say I wasn’t very bright?”
 “Is that so?  Who is that?  I should really go and have a word with him.”
“Don’t you know?  It’s the first program I produced when I joined the TV station.”
“Is that so?  You must be very proud that the program is so successful.”
XZ smiled.  “At that time, I was under the spotlight.  Everyone wanted to know whether this inexperienced, Westernised brat could ever perform.  I even had a run in with Jin En Qi to get this program going.”
“Jin En Qi?  You mean Assistant Director Jin?”
“Who else?” he said tightly.
“You don’t seem to get along with him,” she knew he didn’t ever used this tone of voice when referring to anyone else.
“Forget it.  Let’s not talk about him.”

“Have you finished everything you needed to do?”
“I had originally negotiated a contract, but the other party has decided to back out at the last minute.”
“What’s going to happen now?”
“If both parties are sincere, there will always be a way out of this.  I just have to keep telling myself to stay positive, work hard, and expect the unexpected.  There is nothing that can’t be resolved.”
“You’ve changed!” SM smiled at him.
”How so?”
“You’ve become soft.”
“Weren’t you the one who said taking a step back brings you a better view of the world?” He took her hand in his, “My feelings towards you have never changed.”
“I was talking serious business.  Now you’re way off tangent.”
“I just want you to be absolutely clear about how I feel towards you.”
She snuggled up to him and said with conviction. “No matter how dim I may be, I understand that completely.”
“Oh, how I envy you.  Even when you are face with the most boring person in the world, you still look so happy,” he said as he played with her hair.
‘Aren’t you happy?”
“As long as you’re beside me, I’m happy,” he stated.
“Didn’t you often say I was trouble?”
“Ah, but you’re the type of trouble I love.”
She gave him a hug.

“Xue Zhang….” She looked at him hesitantly.
“What is it?  Come right out and say.”
“Is your work pressure getting to you?”
He smiled at her silently, but his eyes revealed more than his words would have.
“Hmmm….I guess your work is a little different from mine.  All I have to do is make sure my clients are happy.  My personal preferences and opinions play second fiddle.  I get great satisfaction if I get a project where I am able to implement my own opinions and preferences.  To tell the truth, when I first started, I was often discouraged.  Do you remember when we first met?  You often took the time to encourage me.  Over the last two years, I have learnt how to compromise between ideals and reality, to find an acceptable balance between the two.”
“Your work is must more difficult.  You not only have to juggle between ideals and reality, you also have to deal with your competitors, your social conscience and the audience.  It must be so difficult.  If I were you, I would be feeling the pressure of it all.”  She looked at him with understanding in her eyes.  “Sometimes, I am pained when I look at how tired you are.  Pained by how little I can do to help….” She put her hand on his.  “Even so, I do wish you could learn to relax a little more.  I worry for your health, and I worry that the stress may be too much.”
She searched in his face, then said, “I said my piece, and I won’t say it again.  I don’t like hearing people nag me either.  I just want you to take better care of yourself.  Just consider it as ….. taking care of me by not letting me worry.  Can you do that?”  Her eyes misted over.
XZ took her hands in his and gently replied, “I promise I’ll do my best.”
She squeezed his hands, and finally smiled.

“Hey, didn’t you say you wanted to learn how to make pasta?” He asked.
“Are these free lessons?”
“You can take me out to dinner in return.  How’s that?”
“Mmm, sounds pretty reasonable.”
“What sort of pasta do you want to learn to prepare?”
“Are there many different sorts?”
“I guess there are about twenty or thirty famous pasta dishes.”
She thought for a minute, “Well…what sort do you like most?”
“Didn’t you want to learn this for my father?”
“Don’t you worry about what I want………”

 That afternoon, she conscientiously learned how to prepare pasta, taking copious notes in the process.  She had no idea there was so much to know.
“How is it?” she asked.
He tasted the pasta she prepared.  “Not too bad.”
“Is it as good as yours?”
“What can I say?  If I said yes, you probably wouldn’t believe me.  If I said no, you might be disappointed.”
“So what’s the answer?”
He hugged her tightly.  “The answer is:  I love eating the pasta you prepare.  There is no one else in the world who can prepare pasta like you do.  You’re the only one for me.”
“You….you didn’t answer my question!” she laughed.  She loved his answer.  He was also the only one for her.  They were meant for each other.  No one else would do.