AAE -- For Better For Worse

Chapter 29

by LoveCR2

edited by All-About-AAE

 

 

 

At the orphanage, Sun-Mi and Hyung-Chul had tried their best to persuade Young-Mi to return to Seoul. But in the end, she decided to stay and pursue a new vocation with the Sisters, devoting her life and service to God. So they had left empty-handed.

 

 

Driving back to Seoul, light from the low-hanging sun streams into the car as they pass under the JungAng Line railroad bridge, illuminating Sun-Mi's face with a warm glow as she converses on her mobile. Hyung-Chul gazes longingly, recoding pictures with his eyes, storing up images while he has the opportunity. If Sun-Mi were not so engrossed in conversation, she would undoubtedly be scolding him for reckless driving by taking his eyes off the road!

 

"Yes, Daddy, Young-Mi is well and enjoys her work with the orphans," Sun-Mi relates her observations. "Except for losing her memory, she seems to have completely recovered. You don't need to worry. And tell Ms. Song that the one thing she recalls is Woo-Jin's love for her."

 

 

After Sun-Mi rings off, seeing that she seems in a much better mood than on their drive out, Hyung-Chul finally tests the waters, breaking the silence between them. "Huh Young-Mi looks very happy."

 

At first, Sun-Mi hesitates to reply, keeping in mind her ban on personal communications. But her happiness over Young-Mi's situation needs a voice to express itself, and she relents -- just this once -- she promises to herself.

 

"Do you know why she remembers being 6 years old? Young-Mi's mother abandoned her when she was 6 years old. So up until that time would have been a happy time in Young-Mi's life," Sun-Mi reflects back on her long conversation at the orphanage. "All the scars that came after that, she must not have wanted to live with any of them. Up until her mother abandoned her, she must've wanted to live with all those memories before she was hurt..."

 

Hyung-Chul, expecting but a few terse words, is surprised at Sun-Mi's lengthy response.

 

"Young-Mi's life changed a lot, right?" Sun-Mi concludes her remarks, turning to look at him. "She looked gentle and pretty. She looked happy, right?"

 

 

Hyung-Chul glances briefly at Sun-Mi, nods, then returns his attention back to the road as he agrees, "She looked happy."

 

Sun-Mi sighs contentedly, "It's a relief that she is ... such a relief. I don't have to worry anymore."

 

"You're right. ... But you? How about you?" Hyung-Chul probes lightly.

 

 

Sun-Mi looks at Hyung-Chul, but says nothing. How can she say she's happy, when inside she is empty because she has to leave him?

 

"Are you happy?" he repeats the question, hoping to draw her out.

 

She forces a smile, putting up a brave front. "Yes, Senior," she tells him what she thinks he wants to hear, then out of courtesy, reciprocates the query, "And you? Are you happy?"

 

Hyung-Chul smiles slightly at the question. Of course he is happy, when he is with her!

 

 

But Sun-Mi reads his smile differently -- That he is content to let her go. That he can find happiness without her by his side. That he is moving forward -- All exactly what she had claimed she wanted for him, but actually the opposite of her hopes and dreams. Soon, dwelling on this sad future, her flush of contentment and happiness for Young-Mi dissipates, and she retreats to a brooding silence.

 

Glancing over at Sun-Mi again, Hyung-Chul notices that her mood has turned pensive. But this is the last time he will see her before she leaves, and he wants to make the most of it.

 

"Are you hungry?" he tries what is usually a guaranteed opening.

 

She replies noncommittally, "I'm fine. We'll be back soon anyway."

 

"But I'm hungry," he declares. "I know a nice place nearby. We can stop there if you like."

 

Sun-Mi shrugs. "If you want to."

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

They stopped at the Hanmadang restaurant in Namyangju. Dining on the outdoor terrace, they had full view of a gorgeous sunset over the Han River. But while Hyung-Chul relished his steak and lobster, satisfied if only to have extended their time together by an hour, Sun-Mi stewed over sour sauces in her mind, hardly able to taste her seafood platter.

 

"You've hardly touched your food," he notices after cleaning the last bite of medium-rare porterhouse from his plate.

 

"I'm not hungry," she answers grumpily, because although she is hungry, she is more unhappy at his cluelessness. This is the same restaurant they went to her after she had confronted him over his duplicity in hiding his true identity. Sitting on the same terrace again reminded her of their quarrel, a sore which in some ways still rankled ...

 

'Even when Woo-Jin hurt me, when Young-Mi stepped on me, and people treated me like an idiot, I put my pride aside when I was with you and spoke my heart. ... How much did you laugh at me? ... How amusing was it to you? ... Always acting like you were on my side, acting like you supported me like my father. Would a puppet have been as stupid as me? Even mannequins behind windows aren't treated like me.'

 

 

Hoping for a better response, Hyung-Chul tries another tack. "Is everything ready for your trip?"

 

Sun-Mi glares across the table. This is the last topic she wants to talk about with him!

 

"Yes," she snaps curtly.

 

"Will you be staying with your Auntie in Worcester Park?"

 

"Yes! ... Until I find a flat-share in London."

 

"How are your English studies going?"

 

"That ..."

 

Sun-Mi's English speaking skills had always been a weakness for her. After failing her freshman English class in Uni, her father had sent her to England for a summer course, in which the instructor had kindly given her a "Pass" grade for diligence in attendance, not for any knowledge accumulated. Since then, with the daily demands of studying and working, what little skill she had achieved soon atrophied from disuse.

 

"You know my English is terrible," she concedes the truth. "It makes me anxious, just thinking about it."

 

"The Company will pay for tutors," he reminds her, "and you won't have to use it for your broadcasts."

 

"But I have to conduct most of my interviews with English-speakers," she counters his optimism. "I'll look like such a dummy. Frankly, I don't understand why Senior Joo-Hee chose me to take her place, except that ..."

 

Sun-Mi stops there, having said too much with the slip of her tongue.

 

"Except that in every other aspect, she thought you were the best candidate," he completes the sentence encouragingly, "And she is right in that assessment."

 

"Then you really do think I should go, for my career," she replies, surprised.

 

"Of course. A woman should be as educated as a man, whether she marries or not," Hyung-Chul opines. "Though Joo-Hee chose love first, I'm glad you're taking this opportunity."

 

 

"And what does it matter to you?" Sun-Mi rejoins caustically, remembering they were supposed to be incommunicado.

 

"As your manager..." he reasserts his right to continue their conversation. "It matters a lot."

 

"Sorry, I spoke too harshly," she regrets her tone.

 

"Sun-Mi ..." he starts to continue, then thinks better of it, saving his words for a hopefully less acrimonious moment. "We should go. It's late, so I'll take you home directly."

 

Sun-Mi looks at Hyung-Chul as if wanting to say something, but doesn't.

 

What can she say now that will change anything, or ease the ponderous weight of a deadened heart that is choking the breath from her? Anyway, isn't it better to say nothing and leave their situation unresolved, to carry a glimmer of hope into an unknown future, than to say the wrong words now and regret them forever?