AAE -- For Better For Worse

Part 3 -- Chapter 03

by LoveCR2

edited by All-About-AAE

 

 

That night, Hyung-Chul returned home early, slowing only briefly to exchange greetings with the building porter in his rush to the lifts.

 

Normally, he and Sun-Mi communicated throughout their workdays via texts and the occasional call, but today, his attempts to reach her had gone unanswered. Her incommunicado state only reinforced his presumptions that her English assessment had not gone well, and she was hiding somewhere, crying out her sorrows.

 

 

Coming into the apartment, he notices Sun-Mi's black Louboutin pumps -- that she had walked out in that morning -- are parked to the side, telling him that she had returned first.

 

"Honey, I'm home!" he announces his arrival as he closes the door and steps into a pair of slippers.

 

Expecting Sun-Mi's usual lilting reply, he is puzzled when there is no response.

 

He tries again, louder, "Sun-Mi?"

 

Still, no answer, increasing his concern that something is amiss.

 

Moving hastily, Hyung-Chul systematically searches for Sun-Mi. A cursory scan shows she is not in the living room or kitchen, or outside on the terrace. Likewise, he quickly finds that Sun-Mi is not in their bedroom, dressing room, bathroom, or his home office.

 

That leaves the nursery. He flings the door open, praying he would not find her collapsed on the floor.

 

 

Sun-Mi is sitting in the rocking chair they had bought for calming the baby. She had changed from the Armani skirt suit that she'd worn for work that morning, to an Akris boatneck baby blue silk shift dress and white Miu Miu embroidered cashmere cardigan.

 

"Thank God you're all right!" the words of relief slip spontaneously from his lips.

 

She looks up innocently at Hyung-Chul, as if wondering what all the fuss was about.

 

"I've been trying to contact you all day! Why didn't you pick up!" he complains irately.

 

"I needed time alone, to think," she replies, her voice placid. "I didn't mean to worry you. I suppose you're wondering how my English assessment went?"

 

Hyung-Chul relaxes, letting the tension of the past anxious minute unwind. "Yes."

 

"I'll give you the good news first. My composite score was 79, the best ever," she informs him. "All that hard work paid off."

 

"That's great! But you said there's bad news, too?"

 

"Yes. The minimum required score is 80. I was just one point short of passing," she says with a level, matter-of-factness in her voice, raising her hand with the pointer finger extended, "Chief Kim said he was sorry, but according to the rules, he had no choice."

 

Hyung-Chul is incredulous. "He wouldn't pass you, because of one measly point?"

 

"He goes by the book, and lets the chips fall where they may," she affirms the decision, as an ironic smile curves her lips. "I only got what I deserved, in the end."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"I never should have been an announcer in the first place. In the training class, I failed many of the assignments and weekly tests, yet somehow passed the final exams. How could one person have so much good luck?" she shares her suspicions at the time.

 

"So I asked Senior Yoo Joo-Hee if I could see my exam papers. That's when I saw that they had been 'charitably' scored so I could pass. I suspected 'Uncle' Sun-Dal -- Manager Kim -- had done it out of obligation to Daddy for helping his family financially in the past."

 

Hearing she had only speculations, Hyung-Chul exhales a silent sigh of relief that she was unawares of Sun-Dal's larger intentions. "You never confronted Manager Kim about it?"

 

"I wanted to be an announcer for MBS so badly," Sun-Mi confesses, "that I set aside my convictions, thinking no one else would ever know the truth."

 

"But in fact, it was obvious to everyone that I wasn't qualified for the job," she rues her decision, "And my guilty conscience hounded me every time I embarrassed myself by making a mistake or causing a mishap."

 

"Everyone makes mistakes," Hyung-Chul points out. "It doesn't mean you weren't qualified, even if you didn't pass the exam."

 

"Yet you said so yourself, how incompetent I was, when you were being honest," she reminds him of his frank criticisms. "Senior Joo-Hee thought so, too, and resorted to privately tutoring me, trying to improve my skill levels so I wouldn't make the Announcer 1 Team look so bad."

 

"But Joo-Hee personally chose you for the London Correspondent. She wouldn't have, if she thought you were unqualified," he contends.

 

"It's more likely she wanted to get me out of the way, so she could marry you," Sun-Mi asserts, "Sometimes I think she purposely set me up to fail, knowing my English was so poor. But I can't blame her. I might've done the same, if I was in her position."

 

 

"So ... what is Chief Kim going to do?" Hyung-Chul segues from the past to the future.

 

"My appointment ends next Friday. He said he'd arrange a transfer back to Seoul, with a recommendation that the job wasn't a good fit with my abilities. He assured me it wouldn't be a black mark on my record."

 

"But what do you want to do? Whatever it is, I'll support your decision."

 

"It's already been decided," Sun-Mi declares, "I won't go back, not like this. I can't face the shame and scandals, or Daddy's disappointment. He had such high hopes for me coming here, boasting to everyone about his 'world-famous' correspondent daughter."

 

She sighs. "So I handed in my resignation letter this morning, and walked out."

 

 

Her revelation stuns him. "You threw away the career you worked so hard for, just like that? You don't want to take some time to reconsider, just in case?"

 

"It's not something I felt only today. I had doubts from the beginning," she recalls her early qualms while in training, then states firmly, "I've been considering what I did since I came home, and still feel I made the right choice."

 

"You sat here all day, alone? Why didn't you call me?"

 

"I didn't want to distract you from your work by worrying about me," she explains. "You have to focus on your job first, and I mustn't bother you about every little thing anymore. Our family has only you to rely on now, so you have to be successful."

 

"But this isn't a little thing," he disagrees. "It's your life dream."

 

"Was my dream," she corrects him. "Now I have a new dream, to be the best mother for our baby, and the best wife for you. The proper order in a good marriage is for the wife to put her husband and family first, right? I've been selfish too long, grasping for something I had no right to have. This way I can be fully supportive of you in achieving your goals."

 

 

Sun-Mi's turnabout is so sudden and complete, that Hyung-Chul has doubts. "You truly don't mind giving up your dreams?" he questions her. "How do you really feel?"

 

"How do I really feel? It was only a job, anyway... just like any other job," she insists, "I don't know why it was so important to me."

 

"Besides, doesn't it say we should believe that God works out all things for our good?" she rephrases from the Bible, "So whatever happens, it's for the better, right? How things were always supposed to be."

 

"Yes, you could think about it that way," he concurs. "But what is your heart telling you?"

 

 

The question appears to trouble Sun-Mi. She looks down, to avoid his probing gaze. "My heart? Why does that matter?" she replies, her quivering lower lip belying her nonchalant words.

 

"Sun-Mi, look at me!" he demands, then softens his voice. "I'm your husband. You can tell me."

 

When she looks up, he sees tears are rolling in her eyes.

 

"If this is what I deserve, if this is God's blessing," she whimpers, "then why does my heart hurt so bad, like I'm about to die?"

 

 

Rushing to her side, Hyung-Chul grasps Sun-Mi's hand and helps her to her feet, then smothers her in his embrace. She resists in his arms, determined to show him she is capable alone.

 

"It's okay. You don't have to hold it in," he tries to comfort her.

 

But she is adamant, " I don't need to be held! I'm not a crybaby anymore! I don't have to blubber over every little setback, like before."

 

"Yes, you're strong," he agrees, while holding her tighter until she stops struggling. "But even a strong person may cry, if it helps."

 

 

Secure in Hyung-Chul's protective arms, Sun-Mi leans on his strength. Breaking through her faltering restraint, her tears pour out with deep sobs, muffled in his shoulder.

 

"I'm sorry ... I've disappointed you ... I'd really wanted... to do well," she chokes out her shame and regrets, "I'd hoped... for once ... that you... might be proud of me..."

 

"I am proud of you," he murmurs in her ear, softly stroking her head to calm her. "Everything will be all right, because it's you... and me, together."