AAE -- For Better For Worse

Part 3 -- Chapter 14

by LoveCR2

edited by All-About-AAE

 

 

Just before her flight from London to Seoul, Sun-Mi's aunt had called again, to deliver news that her father had just been rushed into emergency heart surgery. Sun-Mi spent the flight distraught, mechanically reciting through her rosary, eschewing both food and sleep while she pled with God to spare her father's life. She hoped for one last chance to ask forgiveness for her selfish and unfilial words and behavior.

 

Immediately on landing at Incheon International Airport, a phone call to the hospital brought welcome relief from her worries. Her precious Daddy had survived the quadruple bypass operation and was back in the ICU for extended monitoring. Searching out the public airport prayer room, Sun-Mi knelt to send up an earnest prayer of thanksgiving to God.

 

It was a one hour express bus ride to Seoul's Central City bus terminal, and from there another hour on the local bus to Seoul National University Hospital. But with one worry behind her, another now rose to prominence in her thoughts along the way -- her Auntie Jin. Since their economic fortunes had gone south, she had tried to keep a positive face on matters to her aunt during their occasional phone contacts. But now, in person, Sun-Mi knew that it would be impossible to hide the truth for very long from her inquisitive probing.

 

Fortunately, that moment of truth was delayed by an immediate focus on her father's recovery to health. Alternating with Auntie Jin, they stayed by his bedside continuously for days until his condition was stable enough for transfer to a regular care room. Their brief, twice-a-day communications only exchanged information on her father's needs and slight improvements in condition.

 

After 17 days of their 24-hour personal attendance, Gui-Sung's discharge was approved for him to return home.

 

 

Sun-Mi is reading a magazine, catching up on the Seoul entertainment scene, when Auntie Jin comes in to relieve her at 10AM.

 

"He's napping so early?"

 

Sun-Mi smiles. "He dozed off after breakfast."

 

"How did things go?" Auntie Jin asks for an update.

 

"Daddy has been in good spirits since he heard that he could go home tonight," Sun-Mi fills her aunt in on her overnight stay. "Last night, we played a little Go-Stop. And this morning he cleaned his breakfast plate, even though he complained that the food wasn't as good as your cooking!"

 

"I'll remind him of those words, once he's home and complaining that he has to eat my cooking every day!" the older woman remarks with a grin.

 

Sun-Mi puts down the magazine and stands. "Before he's discharged, I'll come back to help you pack up here."

 

"There's no need. He only has a few things," Auntie Jin brushes aside her offer, "and the hospital staff will get him into the taxi, so you don't need to make the trip just to accompany us. He'll probably nap on the way home anyway."

 

"Then, I'll go grocery shopping and prepare Daddy's dinner before you arrive," Sun-Mi offers her help again.

 

"I did the shopping yesterday, and promised that I'd make his favorite food on his return home," Auntie Jin puts the kibosh on that. "Why not take the day off and enjoy yourself for once?"

 

 

"If you say so," Sun-Mi defers, aware that with her father's return to health, her aunt is making it clear that she doesn't need her help anymore.

 

"Auntie -- Now that Daddy is doing better, I think it's time for me to return home," she cautiously broaches what she knows is a sensitive topic.

 

"You should stay here. We don't know how much longer your father will live with his condition," Auntie Jin raises a flag of caution. "If you go back and the worst happens, won't you regret it for the rest of your life?"

 

"But my husband..."

 

"Husband? Does he deserve that honor?" Auntie Jin retorts acridly at the real source of her opposition. "How can a decent man just laze around unemployed for this long, so that you have to live like some vagrants!"

 

"Auntie, please. Not here!" Sun-Mi protests, flicking her eyes toward her sleeping father, then whispering, "Daddy might hear and worry over nothing! Husband is going to get a new job, soon. We're just a little tight financially right now."

 

"You can paper over the reality for only so long," Auntie Jin is blunt. "Your situation in London isn't going to change for the better. Here you can build a new life for yourself. Let Yoon Hyung-Chul wallow in his own troubles!"

 

 

 

Leaving the hospital, Sun-Mi takes in a long, deep breath of fresh air, freeing her lungs of the clinging odor of sterile antiseptic that had permeated and defined each day of her stay since she had set foot in Seoul. But the issues raised by her aunt are not so easily dismissed.

 

On one point Auntie Jin is right. Seoul is her home, not London. For certain, life would be easier living in her aunt's comfortable home. It had been five years since she left for what was originally expected to be a year, or two at most, away. If she had not succeeded in all that time, why think she could do better going back now?

 

But on the other hand, she disagreed with her aunt. She could not simply leave her husband to his own troubles and build a new, independent life. She was convinced they were fated by True Love to be True Hearts, and so had made a vow with him for life.

 

"We were fated by True Love to be True Hearts, and made vows before God!" Sun-Mi declares defiantly to bolster herself. "How can Auntie expect us to separate?"

 

 

Sun-Mi takes the short bus trip to Myeong-dong, to wander the busy streets as she had often done before, both in Seoul and London, hoping to clear the tangled threads raveling her mind. After a quick lunch of ramen, lost in thought, she walks aimlessly for hours, drifting along with the throngs, paying no attention to the people or her surroundings as she ponders her circumstances and reflects on her next course of action.

 

So it is with some surprise that she finds herself at the foot of the long staircase leading up to Myeongdong Cathedral, among a stream of Catholic worshippers heading to evening Mass.

 

Being 20 minutes early, the cavernous Gothic nave is still lightly populated. After dipping her fingers into the Holy Water font and signing herself with the sacramental, Sun-Mi notices a sign that the priests are holding Confession, and on the spur of the moment decides to go.

 

As she enters the booth, the priest greets her solemnly, "Prepare yourself to receive the forgiveness of the Lord."

 

Sun-Mi kneels and makes the Sign of the Cross, reciting the rote introductory words, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. My last Confession was..."

 

She pauses, not sure what to say, then continues honestly, "It was so long ago, I can't remember, and my sins since then, too many to list. Can God still forgive them?"

 

"If you sincerely repent and desire to change, God will forgive all your sins," the priest reminds her of the promise fulfilled in Christ's death and resurrection. "But do you have anything you want to specifically confess?"

 

"Yes, Father. It's something that I may have to decide soon, and I want to know if I will be committing a sin, or not."

 

"Can you tell me more?"

 

"I came here to be with my father in the hospital, while my husband remained in England. But now, I'm wondering if I should stay instead of returning to London. We're struggling financially, and my husband can't seem to keep a steady job. By working here, I can make more money. But it means I'll be choosing to live separately from him," she explains her quandary. "Will I be committing a sin if I don't go back to be together?"

 

"It's not necessarily a sin to be apart by choice," the priest advises. "What matters is your intent, why you want to stay. I sense there is discord in your mind. Is this your only reason?"

 

"No," Sun-Mi admits. "Living in London is a struggle for me. After five years, I still feel like a foreigner there. I didn't realize that so clearly until I came back, how comfortable my life could be here, in a place I understand, and where I can be understood. But am I being selfish to want that, and put myself before my husband?"

 

The priest thinks for a moment, then replies, "That is a question only you can answer. God often speaks to us in the stillness of our hearts. Listen to what your conscience tells you is the right thing to do. If you seek God's will with an open and submissive heart, I believe He will guide you with His Holy Spirit..."