AAE -- For Better For Worse

Part 3 -- Chapter 32

by LoveCR2

edited by All-About-AAE

 

 

"Mommy? Go where?" Mae-Young whines in the bathroom doorway.

 

Hair pulled into a hasty ponytail, Sun-Mi scrutinizes her face in the mirror, patting blusher on her cheeks. "To a meeting at the church. Auntie Lin is coming to stay with you."

 

"Me go too!"

 

Sun-Mi smooths a layer of dark pink gloss on her lips. "Not today."

 

Mae-Young clings to Sun-Mi's skirt.

 

She pouts. "Take me!"

 

"We're just going to sit around and talk. Wouldn't you rather stay home and play?" Sun-Mi takes Mae-Young's hand and leads her out of the bathroom. "Go and play blocks with Jae-Young. Okay?"

 

"Awww..."

 

"Be a good girl, and I'll bring you back a brownie. Now scoot!"

 

She gives her daughter a firm pat on the back.

 

"Yay!" Mae-Young shouts and races down the hall.

 

 

Padding softly in slippers, Sun-Mi goes to her bedroom. The clatter of blocks and the chatter of young voices follow her in.

 

She unzips her house dress, slips it off, and sits on the bed. She stretches on a pair of opaque black hold-ups. From the closet she takes out a navy Diane von Furstenberg knit shirt dress, pulls it on, and buttons it up the front. Lingering over her shoe shelves, she passes on one pair, then another, before she steps into black, low-heeled Anne Klein cap-toe slingbacks.

 

At the mirror, she checks out her look, making sure that her seven-month bump is not too noticeable.

 

The doorbell chimes.

 

Sun-Mi clatters through the reception room, hurrying to the door. Mae-Young and Jae-Young are already bouncing at the window, waving and calling, "Auntie Lin! Auntie Lin!"

 

Auntie Lin bustles in with a large plastic bag. "Sorry it took so long."

 

Sun-Mi smiles. "Thanks for coming at the last minute."

 

 

Mae-Young and Jae-Young stare wide-eyed at the bag.

 

Auntie Lin crouches. "I brought something for my favourite niece and nephew." She hands each a coloring book.

 

Sun-Mi prompts. "What do you say?"

 

Together they reply, "Thank you, Auntie Lin," before scurrying to the coffee table, where crayons and partly-used books lie scattered.

 

"You're going to spoil the kids," Sun-Mi says.

 

"Nonsense! This will keep them busy while we talk. Do you have time for a cuppa before you go?"

 

Sun-Mi glances at the kitchen clock. "Yes. It's only half-two, and I'm taking a cab."

 

"I'll put on the kettle while you finish getting ready."

 

 

Ten minutes later, Sun-Mi comes into the kitchen. Her hair is twisted up in a loose, off-center chignon, clipped with barrettes. A scarlet Ralph Lauren blazer sharpens the navy dress beneath.

 

Auntie Lin sets down the tea and takes a seat.

 

"I'm sorry to leave you with the house in such a mess," Sun-Mi says, sliding onto the kitchen chair opposite.

 

"It's no bother. You look a bit pale. How are you feeling?"

 

"So-so. I'm not sleeping well. It's the baby. And, I have a lot on my mind."

 

"Anything you want to share?"

 

Sun-Mi hesitates. "My ladies' circle wants to call it quits. That's why I called the emergency meeting today."

 

"Why?"

 

"It's the response -- or lack of it. We hand out dozens of invitations, but almost no one comes. They feel their efforts are wasted."

 

"Can't they give it more time?"

 

"That's what I'm hoping. But I'm worried. Mrs. Ha was skeptical from the start, and many of the ladies follow her lead."

 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Big Ben chimes five o'clock as Sun-Mi hurries out of the church. Behind her, the heavy door swings shut with a solid thud. She pauses to catch her breath, scans the car park -- no one. Then her eyes catch a flash of bright blue.

 

Hand on her swollen belly, she crosses the car park and follows a narrow walkway through the garden, where late yellow tulips and vibrant pink azaleas lift the greenery. Beneath a magnolia tree in full bloom, a figure in a Peregrine rain jacket huddles on a wooden bench near the gate to the street. Her auburn pixie droops over her face.

 

Hearing the tap of Sun-Mi's heels on the limestone, the woman clutches her bag and rises.

 

"Shin-Hee! Wait!" Sun-Mi calls, quickening her pace.

 

 

Shin-Hee turns. Tears streak her face.

 

Panting lightly, Sun-Mi reaches her and embraces. "Let's go back inside. Talk things over."

 

"I won't set foot in that place again, ever!" Shin-Hee's voice is raw. "I've never been so insulted and humiliated!"

 

They sit on the bench. Sun-Mi places her hand over Shin-Hee's.

 

"Mrs. Ha didn't mean it the way it sounded."

 

"How else? She said -- 'No real Christian would willingly go into those dens of perdition, only the spawn of the devil himself!' -- But all I suggested is we meet the women where they are -- not that we start stripping, too!"

 

Sun-Mi calmly nods. "For my circle, the clubs are a different world -- a frightening one. We can't ask them to go without preparation."

 

"Being scared is one thing, but calling these women -- many of them my friends -- 'the devil's children' is another!"

 

She glares, pulling her hand free. "How could you understand?"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"You're one of them, those do-gooders," Shin-Hee snaps. "People like me are a project for you. Someone to 'save', doing God's work so you can feel good about yourself. But stepping into our world -- that makes you feel dirty, right?"

 

Sun-Mi stares at her. "Is that what you think?"

 

"Even when you worked in the club, you acted like you were better than us. Too posh to grub for the punters' money. That's why you couldn't make it. Why most of the girls shunned you."

 

"That's not fair!"

 

"What's fair in this world? Some people have everything without a struggle. Others have to struggle for anything." She stands. "I've seen enough hypocrisy for one day. Goodbye."

 

 

Shoulders squared, chin high, Shin-Hee strides off.

 

Slumped on the bench, Sun-Mi sighs as she watches her leave. She lowers her gaze -- then looks up sharply.

 

"You're right," she calls after Shin-Hee. "I am a hypocrite. Please -- don't go."

 

Shin-Hee stops and looks back, silent.

 

"I didn't want to go back into the clubs because I'm too ashamed -- reminded of what I did then. As you said, I acted like it was beneath me. Like I was different… but I was lying to myself, because I was afraid."

 

She draws a deep breath.

 

"As 'Nicole' I felt a power, a sensuality I'd never known. It was addictive, intoxicating -- and I loved it. Since then I've kept Nicole hidden away. To let her back, I have to face the truth."

 

Sun-Mi slowly gets to her feet and takes a step forward. Her chin trembles. Her eyes blink, watery.

 

"I can't do this, Shin-Hee, without you," she pleads, her voice hoarse. "I need your help to keep me honest. From being a hypocrite. But I also need you to stand by me, to pray with me, as I learn how to bring all of myself -- even Nicole -- to God for redemption."

 

Her voice breaks. "Will you do that, for me?"

 

 

"Me?" Shin-Hee steps back. "I don't know much about spiritual things. How can I be of any help?"

 

"It's not what you know. It's who you are," Sun-Mi answers. "My friend. My Sister in Christ."

 

Shin-Hee hesitates, then extends her hand. "I'll do it," she says, eyes shining. "Not for Jin Sun-Mi -- but for Nicole."