AAE -- Wishes Of The Heart

Chapter 55

written by LoveCR2 -- 2005

edited by All-About-AAE -- 2017

 

“What happened then was more a matter of proximity and opportunity, than of love...” -- Yoon Hyung-Chul

"What my heart tells me now is all that matters. It can be love if we choose to make it so." -- Park So-Won

 

 

ON RIVER STATION, HANGANG RIVER PARK, GANGNAM...

 

“Can’t you even pretend you’re happy to be with me?”

 

So-Won glares at Hyung-Chul crossly, her eyes reinforcing the displeasure in her voice, but he continues his moody disengagement, gazing off into the darkness of the River Han. Despite a chill breeze wafting off the water, heaters ranged along the perimeter of the floating restaurant's open-air deck provide a tolerable temperature for late-season alfresco dining.

 

Still, a shiver runs down So-Won’s spine, prompted as much by the cold, hard expression in his eyes as by the cool air. Still, she resists pulling her gauzy wrap up over her bare shoulders and plunging décolletage. She didn't splurge on the sequined, curve-hugging, black stretch satin Versace cocktail gown to cover it, or herself for that matter, from his eyes.

 

“I went to all the trouble to make this a special night, but since we've come here it's as if you're somewhere else. What do I have to do to get your attention?” she sulks, then makes a pointed attempt to do just that by crossing her legs at the knee, so the parted slit of her skirt presents a generous length of shapely thigh for his appreciation.

 

But Hyung-Chul remains seemingly oblivious to So-Won's efforts to connect with him. His eyes never leave the river as he takes a long drag on his cigarette, instead engaged inwardly, reflecting on a memory he hears and sees as if it’s happening in the present...

 

... ‘After 1 year, 2 years, 10 years, 20 years, I want to be there for your birthdays' ... Only a few months ago he’d expressed that desire in this place, words that now ring hollow ...

 

 

“Hyung-Chul?! Did you even hear what I said?” So-Won complains sharply, petulant at being ignored. “A woman appreciates a little attention from her escort, you know...”

 

He doesn’t flinch, his mind still immersed in the past as he reminisces... ‘It’s Peridot, my birthstone. the only stone from outside Earth .... Your pearl is from the bottom of the ocean and this is from outer space. But they’re together now’ ...

 

 

“Why are you not acting like yourself?” So-Won pleads, trying again, “Can’t you at least acknowledge my presence?”

 

A slight smile appears on Hyung-Chul’s face, not in response to So-Won’s plea, but from the hope he expresses as the scene plays out, the only real hope he still can cling to with any certainty. ... ' If you give it to your sweet-heart, the two of you can meet in the next life. Let’s see each other in the next life’ ...

 

With the picture of Sun-Mi's sweet smile and sparkling eyes still fresh in his mind as if snapped that instant, Hyung-Chul turns toward So-Won and asks, “Sorry, what is it you want me to say?"

 

"Anything," she sighs, relieved that she had finally broken through his wall of silence. "Say anything at all..."

 

 

He gives her a cursory glance, quickly appraising the circumstances, then takes a moment to consider his response...

 

"I think... you're trying too hard," he comments, casually flicking the ash from his cigarette. "But that's par for the course, right?"

 

“If I’m trying hard, it’s because I’d do anything to have you. Even after all this time, my heart hasn’t forgotten,” she confesses her hopes.

 

“At some point you have to accept that the past cannot be reclaimed, and start to claim the future,” he dissuades her.

 

“As I see it, we’re each clinging to our pasts,” she counters, “but the difference is, only one has the possibility of a future, and that future is looking into each of our faces, right now...”

 

“I’m seeing a face right now, and it’s not yours,” he tells her bluntly.

 

“What you’re seeing is a ghost, an apparition haunting you. What did Jin Sun-Mi ever bring you, except trouble and heartache, and now... regrets...” she argues. “Open your eyes and see the truth... it's me, Park So-Won, who is here beside you."

 

She reaches across the table to place her hand atop his and promises, "I can give you what you need from a woman. I can make you happy, Hyung-Chul.”

 

“How do you know what I want from a woman? Or what will make me happy?” he disputes her contentions.

 

"Didn't we find comfort and satisfaction in each other's arms? Am I not the same woman now as I was then?" she declares, looking into his eyes with longing.

 

“What happened then was more a matter of proximity and opportunity, than of love,” he dismisses her claim brusquely. "Would it be any different if it were today?"

 

"What my heart tells me now is all that matters," she persists obstinately, then hopefully, "It can be love if we choose to make it so."

 

 

Hyung-Chul sees the burning light of hope in her eyes, in a hopeless situation, and his attitude softens towards her...

 

“For you perhaps that's true, but for me... I thought I knew what love is, but now I'm not sure I can ever love anyone," he shares his own uncertainties.

 

But So-Won urges, "I can show you what love is, how to love again... Just let me have the chance, like before..."

 

“It’s not the same now,” Hyung-Chul says, trying to help her see the situation from his perspective. “Then I was running away from something, now I’m running toward someone... else...”

 

She takes a deep breath and sighs as she nods reluctantly. “I see that now, that all my efforts to persuade you otherwise are useless. You really do love her,” she admits sadly. “But I can understand that. If she means as much to you as you mean to me...”

 

"Good," he replies, feeling relief that this matter is finally settled between them. "I hope we can move forward from this."

 

 

So-Won attempts a smile as she pronounces in as cheerful a voice as she can muster, “Then that just leaves just one thing for us to celebrate, right? Let’s drink a toast to ‘Catwalk’...”

 

She picks up her champagne flute and holds it out, expecting him to join her...

 

But the positive mood Hyung-Chul had expressed just a moment before is missing. “I’m not in the mood for celebrating,” he grumbles, declining the gesture.

 

His changed attitude puzzles So-Won. “Why not? You should be ecstatic!" she declares. "Our debut week topped the rankings... the netizens are flooding fan sites and chatrooms with phenomenal support...  they’re calling you a casting genius and dubbing ‘Catwalk’ as the next ‘Sandglass’ of TV drama. Can’t you just manage to be just a little pleased?”

 

With a deep scowl, he snarls, "What's to be pleased about? It doesn’t take genius to produce such crap... or to wallow in it and call that ‘acting’..."

 

"Hyung-Chul!" she interrupts, protesting at his coarse depiction of their work, "But the polls..."

 

"If you think people are watching because of your acting ability, and not because you’re the best eye candy money can buy, you’re the biggest fool in Seoul," he states derisively.

 

His derogatory belittling of her abilities enrages So-Won. “How dare you..!” she starts to shout, then draws a sharp breath and turns away, biting down hard on her lower lip to hold her tongue, and exhaling slowly in an attempt to regain her composure...

 

But instead of her rage calming, it seethes hotter until the restraints snap. She turns back, and without another word,  tosses the full glass of champagne directly at his face...

 

Startled nearby diners turn and openly stare at the unfolding spectacle. Stunned herself at what she’s just done, So-Won drops the empty flute. The tinkling crash of fine crystal on the deck boards, attracts more heads to turn and gawk.

 

Ignoring the onlookers, Hyung-Chul gazes at So-Won placidly, unfazed by either her fury or from being doused with expensive fizzy.

 

But So-Won is not so serene, as embarrassment adds to her red-faced agitation. Grabbing her clutch from the table, she flees...