AAE -- Wishes Of The Heart

Chapter 98

written by LoveCR2 -- 2005

edited by All-About-AAE -- 2017

 

"Today is my birthday... but since you couldn't come to me, I came to you." -- Jin Sun-Mi

 

 

The door to the hospital room is open when Sun-Mi arrives, so she walks right in without hesitation. Hyung-Chul is lying in the bed, looking as if he is peacefully asleep. His right arm is in a cast, and an oxygen tube and several bundles of wires connect him to the quietly beeping monitors positioned by the bedside.

 

"Senior, it's me, Sun-Mi..." she announces her presence, though the nurse at the floor station had told her his condition hadn't changed since coming to the ward post-surgery.

 

She sits down on the bedside chair, and takes his left hand in both of hers.

 

"A year ago you made a promise, that after 1 year, 2 years, 10 years, 20 years, you wanted to come for my birthdays," she recalls his toast to her 25th birthday at ON River Station, words which had touched her heart by his sincerity. "Today is my birthday, and I know if you could, you'd have kept your promise. But since you couldn't come to me, I came to you..."

 

She grasps his hand tighter, looking closely for any sign that he might have heard...

 

"The last time we spoke, I said things I've regretted... words I didn't mean," she apologizes. "I wish I could take them back. I'd give anything if you could know you how sorry I am..."

 

Tears smart in her eyes, and she gets down on her knees, still holding his hand.

 

"Please forgive me," she begs. "I was angry at myself, not you... I stopped looking only at you like you told me to, and instead looked at my own fears and doubts... Remember how our two hearts are linked together? I know you won't leave my heart to be alone... you're too good a person, too good to me to do that..."

 

Sun-Mi concentrates her thoughts, sending a telepathic message. ... if you can hear this, Senior, show me ...  She watches hopefully, but sees no confirming movement, has no feeling, no sensation, that might be a signal back from him.

 

... perhaps she isn't sincere enough ...

 

She tries again, pleading, "Senior, I'll be good to you, I'll take care of you, I promise... Just let me know you hear my voice, so I know I'm still in your heart."

 

She looks intently but again sees no response. With nowhere left to turn, closing her eyes tightly, she prays...

 

"Dear God, this is Jin Sun-Mi. I haven't talked with you for a long time, and I'm sorry about that. I was so angry that you took Mommy away from us that I stopped believing in you. But now, I'm trying to believe again, asking you to help Senior. I know you've no reason to hear my prayers, but Senior's mother always believed strongly, so do this for her sake... Have mercy on Senior and bring him back to consciousness... Please..."

 

Sun-Mi thinks she feels Hyung-Chul's hand move, the slightest pressure from his fingers. With rising expectations, she prays again, this time bargaining, "God, I promise... I'll do whatever you ask me to do. I'll even become a nun, like Young-Mi, and devote my life to serving you, if that's what it takes... just give me the chance to speak to Senior, to beg his forgiveness, to make thing right."

 

She waits, but nothing happens, and she realizes that she may have been mistaken...

 

Still, she tries one more time ... third time is charm ... she tells herself. Bending her head low, touching her forehead to their joined hands, she desperately ponders what more she could offer...

 

"God, if you'll heal Senior. I'll give up everything to you, give my life in exchange for Senior's," she vows, spilling tears of sorrowful desperation. "It's my fault, not his, so take my life, but give his back. How can I live anyway, knowing I caused this to happen?"

 

She waits, watching, hoping for a miracle...

 

 

Then a faint sound at the door alerts Sun-Mi...

 

She raises her head, disoriented, and realizes that she'd fallen asleep from exhaustion -- the bedside clock confirming more than two hours had passed since she'd arrived. Stiff from her awkward position, legs numb from kneeling on the hard floor, she struggles to her feet as a man comes into the room. He is wearing a white hospital coat and carrying a full IV bag, so she assumes he must be a nurse.

 

"Oh... I didn't know anyone was here," the man excuses his unannounced entry as he closes the door. "Sorry if I'm interrupting."

 

Sun-Mi glances at the IV bag by the bed, noticing it is still over half full. She looks again at the man -- he seems vaguely familiar  -- and an uneasy feeling begins squirming in her gut. "Sir, have we met before?" she asks.

 

"How could that be?" he displays an unfriendly scowl, "You must be mistaking me for someone else."

 

But as he comes closer, the queasy feeling inside Sun-Mi gets stronger. Then she remembers ... in a dark back alley, the man grasping her, his leering face, his threatening voice ...

 

"I... I know who you are!" she gasps, as the realization that she has nowhere to escape this time becomes clear, and the apprehension that brings sends a chill down her spine.

 

"I've never seen you before," he protests, but his eyes narrow and pierce through her with a cruel recognition, belying his words.

 

Sun-Mi's stomach is churning hysterically now, as the panic of that night seizes her again... "It-it is y-you!..." she stutters in fear. "I-I'd never forget y-your face."  She fights back the nausea, trying to think coherently of any way to save herself...

 

"I don't know what you're talking about!" he continues to insist, and orders sharply, "Move aside, so I can get to the patient!"

 

But his demand has the opposite effect, arousing an instinct in Sun-Mi that is stronger than fear, her protective nature...

 

Concerned now not about herself, but someone she loves, with a surge of inner fortitude she stands her ground. "You'll have to go through me first!" she boldly refuses ... she will defend Senior with her life, if necessary ...

 

"Lady, you're crazy!" he replies, "Just let me do my job, okay?"

 

"Don't come any closer, or I'll scream!" she warns. "I won't let you hurt him!"

 

"Calm down, I'm not trying to hurt anybody," the man, seeing the fiery determination in Sun-Mi's eyes, warily keeps a safe distance between them, opting for persuasion. "It's just an IV, er... from the nurses' station. See?" He holds it forward to show her.

 

... the nurse's station? ... an idea comes to Sun-Mi, what to do...

 

Keeping her eyes fixed on the man, she searches blindly behind herself for the bedside nurse call button. Finally locating it, she moves quickly, brandishing the tethered handset out in front of herself like a silver cross to ward off a vampire, and pushes the button.

 

"Yes? Is there a problem?" the night nurse's voice immediately comes over the intercom.

 

"Th--there's a man..." Sun-Mi stammers.

 

But he is already heading for the door, where he glances back and vows with a deep scowl, "I'll be back later..."

 

 

After the man leaves, Sun-Mi remains frozen, holding the button, staring at the door, fearing he may change his mind and come back.

 

"Is anyone there?" the nurse finally prompts, voicing concern.

 

"Oh... sorry, everything is fine," Sun-Mi shakes off her stupor to answer. "I... I just thought I saw something."

 

"Please be more careful, we're busy enough without false alarms," the nurse admonishes and cuts off the connection.

 

Sun-Mi sits down on the bedside chair and notices her hands are trembling. She lowers her head onto her knees and breathes deeply to calm herself.

 

... why was that man here? ... what was he going to do?... is Senior in some kind of danger? ... the unanswered questions tumble about in her mind. Then the premonition she'd had in London returns ... 'I can't explain how, but I feel Senior's fate is in the balance' ...