AAE -- Wishes Of The Heart

Chapter 113

written by LoveCR2 -- 2005

edited by All-About-AAE -- 2017

 

"What happened can't be taken back; we just have to figure out things between us from here on. That's all." -- Yoon Hyung-Chul

 

 

RURAL KANGWON-DO...

 

Panting with deep, labored breaths from his parched throat, Hyung-Chul opens his eyes, straining to distinguish shadow from shadow in the darkness. His body, burning hot, is bathed in sweat. Seeking respite, he first tosses the bed sheets down, then sits up, unbuttons and strips off his damp pajama top, to no avail. The warm, muggy air of the room provides little relief  to his discomfort...

 

But the sudden movement sends his head spinning. Struggling for equilibrium, he immediately lies on his back again, and the whirling room calms.

 

Trapped in his bed, he perseveres in agonized silence, until he can bear suffering no longer. "Water... " he finally calls out deliriously. "Please... water... help me..."

 

As if in response to his pleas, the door to his room silently swings open. Outside, the skylit corridor streams with bright moonlight -- he visualizes the silvery disk of the full moon, with the Moon Rabbit, looking down on him. A figure materializes in the open doorway, shining in the light ... a woman, backlit with her face shrouded in shadow.

 

"You called, so I came..." her voice is whisper quiet, making Hyung-Chul unsure whether he'd actually heard her speak, or if, by telepathy, her thoughts had reached into his mind.

 

He recalls his wish, that Sun-Mi would come to him. ... it can't be true ... he tells himself, but asks anyway, in blind hope, managing to croak out, "Sun-Mi, is it... is it you?"

 

The woman doesn't answer, but enters the room without a sound. As she comes closer, the light gradually dims, as if the door is closing, until pitch darkness surrounds him.

 

Though he can't see, Hyung-Chul can sense her presence nearby, from the distinctive fragrance filling the air -- Sun-Mi's perfume.

 

A gentle touch caresses his feverish forehead, bringing cool relief, and welcome moisture dribbles into his mouth, sating his thirst.

 

He feels the heat in his body slowly dissipating, the tension fading. With the return of his night vision, Hyung-Chul can now vaguely see the woman, a shadow hovering beside him, ministering to his needs. He reaches out to touch her, half-expecting to discover an apparition, or perhaps an angel, but his fingers touch smooth, firm -- human -- flesh.

 

"It really IS you, Sun-Mi," he gasps incredulously, "But how?"

 

"Just for one night, we can be together like this..." she explains in her faint whisper.

 

"I'm so sorry, Sun-Mi... please forgive me," he begs, "I love you... I miss you so much... want you so deeply..."

 

"All that matters is that we are here, now," she answers. "Just you... and me..."

 

Unable to contain his desire any longer, Hyung-Chul reaches up with both arms, pulling her down to himself. Their lips meet... he tastes her sweetness, feels her softness, senses her heat rising to meet his... their mutual passion builds, poised to proceed to its natural conclusion...

 

 

LATER...

 

The warm yellow beams of morning sun play on Hyung-Chul's face as he slowly drifts to consciousness. Still groggy from the last vestiges of deep slumber, he tries to corral the fleeting traces of a dream that shimmer through his mind, to capture and hold them long enough to create some semblance of order from the muddle...

 

.. bright light ... deep darkness  ... burning heat ... cooling relief ... the Moon Rabbit ... an ethereal woman ... Sun-Mi ...

 

His thoughts coalesce there, focusing on whether what had seemed so real was possible... did he wish so sincerely, as to make his dream a reality? ... 'when the heart believes strongly enough, anything is possible' ...

 

He recalls what Sun-Mi had once said about a vivid dream she'd experienced ... 'Can dreams foretell the future? Or do they only reflect the wishes of your heart?'...

 

 

More alert now, he partially opens his eyes, squinting in the sun's glare, to see that his shirt is missing and the sheet is turned down to his waist. He recalls a memory of raging fever, and entertains the likelihood now, that at least part of his dream actually occurred.

 

Then Hyung-Chul hears a faint sound at his side, the mattress moving slightly, and instantly deduces that he is not alone in the bed. Impossibility suddenly seems possible, so he looks, dreading as much as expecting, to see Sun-Mi...

 

But it's not Sun-Mi... The woman is stretched out on the bed, lying on her side with her back to him, undressed and uncovered, except for the sheet over her legs and her long, cascading black tresses that spill over her shoulders.

 

Hyung-Chul reaches to pull up the sheets, but his movement awakens her, and she rolls over first...

 

Their eyes lock, and Young-Mi looks up at him, wide-eyed... Hyung-Chul immediately turns away, averting his eyes, but too late to prevent the images of her lithe, sensuous femininity from being imprinted into his photographic memory.

 

Before him now, on the bed stand, is a metal bowl half-filled with clear water, and a white towel draped over the rim. Behind him, the sheet rustles as Young-Mi covers herself.

 

Then he hears her voice, apologetic and fearful, pleading, "I'm sorry... so, so sorry..."

 

Perplexed by the confluence of his impossible dream and the equally incredible reality facing him, he asks simply, "What happened?"

 

Young-Mi timidly attempts to explain, "Early in the morning, you were calling out, delirious. I heard you and came in... You don't remember?"

 

... the opening door, the bright moonlight, the woman entering ... then it was Young-Mi, not Sun-Mi ... "Yes, sort of," he answers ambiguously, turning back to look at her, "just some fleeting bits in my memory, like a dream."

 

"You were having a feverish night sweat, so I brought cool water, to sooth you," Young-Mi describes what happened next, her story corroborated by the water bowl and towel. "But while I was placing the towel on your forehead, you called me Sun-Mi, and then you took me into your embrace, telling me you were sorry, saying how much you loved me... desired me..."

 

Hearing this, Hyung-Chul realizes that her account matches his dream, almost exactly...

 

Young-Mi lowers her eyes, shame-faced. "I didn't know what to do... I should have left right away, but I didn't ... When you kissed me, I... I was so weak... I didn't stop you..."

 

"What are you saying?" he asks, although the answer appears obvious.

 

"I should have made is clear I wasn't Sun-Mi, but instead gave into temptation, and pretended to be her... I let you take me into your bed... let you make love to me... I'd planned to leave before you awoke, so you'd never know how I deceived you..."

 

Tears overflow her eyes, streaming down her cheeks...

 

"I did it because I love you... I've loved you for a long time, though I didn't intend that, it just... happened," she confesses her feelings for him. "I thought, if only I could have one night with you, I'd be content in my heart. But I was wrong... I see now what a shameless, deceitful person I am. If you hate me, I'll understand, because I know how hateful I am..."

 

Surprised by her confession, Hyung-Chul just watches Young-Mi weep as the full realization sinks in.

 

"I don't hate you," he declares affirmatively. "But I don't like what you did, either. Still, what happened can't be taken back; we just have to figure out things between us from here on. That's all."

 

Young-Mi wipes her face with the sheet and looks at him sorrowfully. "Figure what out? You love Sun-Mi, not me. I've betrayed you, my patient, and Sun-Mi my sister! How can you and I have anything between us?! No... it's best that I leave the convent, leave Sun-Mi's family, leave you... and disappear forever... otherwise, how can I bear this shame?!"

 

"Don't be ridiculous!" he challenges her thinking. "This isn't the end of the world. No one knows except us. No one needs to know."

 

Young-Mi stares at him, astonished, "What about the Lord? I can't hide my sins from God! And I shouldn't hide them from people, either. I must confess to everyone I've wronged, and beg forgiveness, beginning with you."

 

"If you need forgiveness from me, it's yours already," Hyung-Chul is insistent, "I hold nothing against you. But why do you have to tell anyone else? Why stir up trouble without reason, and cause hurt where it isn't necessary?"

 

"Even if I just confess to God and have His forgiveness, sin still has consequences in this world," she reminds him. "I'll have to leave the convent. There's no way around that."

 

He knows she is right. "I'm sorry that my coming here has ruined your new life, Anna," he apologizes.

 

"You don't need to feel sorry," she tells him definitively. "I don't regret that I honestly love you, but only that I lied to you. Because for all the wrong in what happened, one thing right occurred... This has revealed a totally new experience to me, that if I'd known it before --- I'd never have joined the convent..."

 

She pauses to consider something, and then adds, reasoning with herself, "It may sound sacrilegious to say, but could this be God's will? Did this happen to show me the way I was going was not my true destiny? ... But now, what is my destiny? What will I do? Where will I go? ... I have no education, no skills, no one to turn to whom I haven't wronged..."

 

"Then turn to me, it's the least I can do," Hyung-Chul suggests. "Come back to MBS and work as an announcer again."

 

"I can't accept that," she rejects the offer out-of-hand. "First, I don't know anything about that now."

 

"I've seen your abilities in the Media Center, your work with the children," he commends her. "You're intelligent and talented; you were once a top announcer, and I know you can relearn everything you've forgotten, to become one again."

 

Still, Young-Mi is unconvinced. "How can we work together? Can you look at me, and not see me... like this?"

 

"I'm no longer in charge of the Announcer's Department," he tells her, "so our contact will be minimal. If there still is a problem, I'll be the one to leave first, not you."

 

"But what about Sun-Mi?" she frets. "How can I face her after this? I know how dearly she loved you."

 

"Sun-Mi and I broke up long ago, but I just couldn't let her go... that's why this happened in the first place," he admits his part in the situation. "Don't let my personal issues with Sun-Mi affect your decision.... What do you say, will you come back, Anna?"

 

Without a moment's hesitation, she replies solemnly, "Don't call me Anna anymore... from now on, call me Young-Mi..."