AAE -- Wishes Of The Heart

Chapter 129

written by LoveCR2 -- 2005

edited by All-About-AAE -- 2018

 

"That ring was intended for the woman you love with all your heart. I'm not that woman now, but by wearing it, I can hope that someday it's possibl." -- Huh Young-Mi

 

 

JIN FAMILY HOME, SUBURBAN SEOUL...

 

"I'm on my way. Wait a little bit..."

 

With that assurance, Young-Mi slips her mobile back into her purse, and resumes pacing slowly as she waits at the white wrought-iron gates in the alley outside her home.

 

A few minutes later, Hyung-Chul's dark blue BMW appears. Young-Mi smiles, waving at him as he slows the car and stops.

 

When Hyung-Chul sees her by the gate, dressed in the familiar white knee-length skirt and short sleeved, yellow button-up knit top that Sun-Mi had worn before, it triggers an immediate flashback...

 

... You wanted to do this for five minutes? ... Anything else would be a waste ...

 

The memory of that 'five minute hug' he and Sun-Mi had shared tugs at his heart, as he wonders... will the day ever come when he sees this gate, and doesn't think first of Sun-Mi? ...

 

 

Young-Mi doesn't wait for Hyung-Chul to alight before she approaches the car. "Thanks for coming out early to see me," she greets him happily as he opens the driver's door.

 

"What is it that you couldn't do over the phone?" he asks gruffly in response.

 

"See your face," she returns cheerfully to his coldness, "I've missed you dearly. It's been three days since..."

 

"I've been busy," he cuts her off with a brusque, meaningless excuse.

 

Her smiles fades. "I'm sorry," she replies. "I didn't intend to be a burden..."

 

Seeing the hurt in her eyes, Hyung-Chul regrets his harsh attitude and asks apologetically, "Did you get some rest? How are you feeling today?"

 

His expression of concern brings Young-Mi's face to life again... "The morning was rough, like always, and prepping for my show was exhausting," she reports, gazing at him longingly with shining eyes. "I only got through my day by thinking about being with you...

 

 

Her cloying clinginess is irritating, but Hyung-Chul responds dutifully, "Now that I'm here, what do you want to do?"

 

Ignoring the impassive tone in his voice, she suggests, "I'd like to go someplace where we can get some fresh air, and enjoy the scenery... together."

 

That seems innocuous, so he readily agrees, "Sure, where'd you like to go? Hangang Park?"

 

"No," she answers. "Let's go to Yuldong Lake Park."

 

The thought of going there again -- knowing that he'll only rehash the memories of his first real date with Sun-Mi -- makes Hyung-Chul uneasy.

 

"Why? It�s not nearby," he hints his disapproval.

 

"It's someplace I've never been, that I've wanted to see for some time," she explains eagerly. "We can walk the shoreline path first, and then eat at the restaurant there. I hear their ramen is pretty good."

 

Hyung-Chul eyes her curiously, "Are we going for a walk, or to eat?"

 

Young-Mi smiles as she averts her eyes shyly...

 

"Actually, I've had this weirdly intense craving for ramen all afternoon," she admits sheepishly. "I just made a huge bowl for myself an hour ago, and I need to walk it off before I eat another."

 

That this is all about the needs of her pregnancy surprises Hyung-Chul -- he hadn't suspected that possibility. "Why didn't you say so from the beginning?" he replies with a chuckle. "Come on, let's go..."

 

 

 

YULDONG LAKE PARK RESTAURANT, LATER THAT EVENING...

 

... Jin Sun-Mi, go on a date with me today, our official first date ... What are you going to buy me? ... Something expensive -- ramen ...

 

"What are you thinking about so intensely?" Young-Mi wonders as she catches Hyung-Chul staring vacantly out at the lake, in the general direction of the spouting fountain and bungee jumping tower.

 

"Hmmm..." he mutters a non-response.

 

She tries again, "You've hardly spoken a word since we sat down, and haven't eaten a bite... it's really good..."

 

Her persistent chatter finally penetrates Hyung-Chul's pensive mood. He looks at his untouched noodles, and puts his chopsticks down.

 

"I'm not very hungry," he replies evasively.

 

"Is it about Jin Sun-Mi... again?" she presumes.

 

He nods. "Should I explain?"

 

She shakes her head. "No need. What is between you and her, I have no right to interfere in."

 

"I'm sorry," he apologizes again. "I know you're hungry, please eat," he encourages her.

 

But Young-Mi's appetite is gone now, too... "I've had enough," she answers. "Let's go back now..."

 

 

The late-October evening has cooled with the setting sun, and a chilly breeze is blowing off the lake. Young-Mi is without a coat, so as they step of the restaurant, Hyung-Chul asks, "Don't you feel cold?"

 

Young-Mi slips her hand around his elbow, and presses against his side. "I'll always be warm, as long as you're beside me," she replies, smiling, as they stroll back toward the car park on the pathway, earlier busy with foot-traffic, but now deserted...

 

"I know you worry about Sun-Mi... I do too," she says empathetically. "How unlucky, that she's in this situation. But she chose her own way, and nothing you or I can do will change that. Worrying will only rob any satisfaction we might have from the present."

 

"That's what I once said to someone," he recalls his counsel to Joo-Hee.

 

Young-Mi chides lightly, "How does it feel, to have to take your own advice back?"

 

"Humbling," he admits. "I think I'll be more careful about what I tell someone next time..."

 

 

"Have you spoken to your father about our engagement?" she asks, redirecting the conversation.

 

"Yes, I've mentioned it," he informs her. "Do you have a date in mind to meet him?"

 

"This coming Saturday I have off. How about that evening?" she suggests.

 

"I'll confirm it with him," Hyung-Chul agrees.

 

"I'm looking forward to the day we won't have to meet secretly anymore," she says happily, "and I can wear your ring proudly."

 

"Would you like to choose the ring yourself?" he offers. "It's not like I'm going to surprise you at this point."

 

"You'll give me any one I choose?" she asks coyly.

 

"Of course," he assures her.

 

"Then, I want the ring you carry on the chain around your neck," she requests.

 

"But that ring is..." he begins, hoping to persuade her otherwise.

 

"... the one you chose for Sun-Mi," she completes his thought. "Of course I know. Who else can it be for?"

 

"Why would you want this ring, knowing the story behind it?" he wonders.

 

"Why not? That ring was intended for the woman you love with all your heart. I'm not that woman now, but by wearing it, I can hope that someday it's possible," she reasons...

 

Hyung-Chul doesn't answer to that, wondering himself if it's possible...

 

 

A few steps later, they are at the wooden bridge spanning a small stream feeding the lake. Young-Mi stops at the railing to watch the last rays of light in a darkening blue sky studded with pink-edged clouds, as the sun drops behind the hills on the opposite shore.

 

"Isn't it beautiful?" she marvels.

 

But from two steps behind Young-Mi, watching her back, Hyung-Chul sees a different scene in his mind, of another sunset...

 

... Can you retake that picture you took of me with your eyes? This scenery and my expression, I�d like you to take care of it for me. I�m going to forget it all, but I�d like you to remember it for a long time instead. Would you do that for me?... You can�t ever forget ...

 

 

"You're looking at me, but it's her you see, right... Jin Sun-Mi?" Young-Mi suddenly speaks up, aware of his thoughts. "She stood here, like this, facing the sunset..."

 

"How did you know?"

 

"In Sun-Mi's room, I found a box. Out of curiosity, I looked inside. It was filled with cards and letters, and her personal things relating to you. There was a post card of this bridge at sunset, and on it you'd written to her, 'What happened here one year ago, as promised, I haven't forgotten' ... do you remember it?"

 

"Yes... I sent that card to Sun-Mi's radio program," he recalls.

 

"Did you know what Sun-Mi also wrote on that card?" Young-Mi asks, then tells him, "That night, I closed the door on the past, and opened my heart to the future. I so love you, my Dear Senior, only you."

 

Hyung-Chul is surprised. "Sun-Mi wrote that?"

 

"Yes, I thought you should know," she answers. "I didn't want to keep anything from you."

 

"So coming here today wasn't by chance was it?" he concludes. "You did this deliberately."

 

 

Young-Mi turns to face him. "What happened here that night, between you and Sun-Mi, is now only a memory in the past," she states resolutely. "What matters now is between you and me, and the memories we make for the future..."

 

She steps closer and rests her hands on the lapels of his suit coat. He doesn't move as she stretches up, passively allowing her to kiss him.

 

"Do you feel nothing for me?" she asks, saddened at his lack of response to her overture. "Nothing at all?"

 

He doesn't reply, keeping the stony set to his face.

 

"I feel like I'm competing with a lingering ghost that will never go away," she shares her fears. "Compared to time spent with me, the time spent with her is longer, isn't it? Compared to the feelings you can give to me, isn't it less compared to what you've given her?"

 

"I thought it was understood between us from the start, that I'll always love Sun-Mi," he reminds her of the terms of their relationship.

 

"Maybe it's because of the baby inside me, that I feel differently now," she disagrees. "I don't want a marriage where the husband barely tolerates his wife. I want our child to grow up in a loving family, not like I grew up."

 

Hyung-Chul thinks of his own childhood, where his father despised his mother so much that he left her for another woman...

 

"You're right," he agrees, remembering his words to Joo-Hee the night he rejected her love in London...

 

... 'I don�t want a shallow love like my father... What would happen if I got married and had a son like me?' ...

 

 

"I can't force you to love me like you love Sun-Mi, all I ask is that you try to care for me," she pleads as tears fill her eyes. "Not for public appearances, or even my sake, but for our child's... can you do that?"

 

When he hesitates to answer, Young-Mi rests her cheek against his chest. "I feel a coldness in my heart," she tells him. "Could you at least pretend to care, and hold me... for five minutes?"

 

Shamed by guilt, Hyung-Chul takes Young-Mi into his embrace, holding her close -- feeling the warmth and softness of her body, breathing in the faint fragrance of rose, vanilla, and jasmine, hearing her quiet sobs as she pours out her sorrow -- just as on another night like this, except then it was Sun-Mi in his arms...

 

... 'I didn�t mean to call you... Knowing that it was you ... But you�re not the same. You�re not the person who can comfort me like before' ...

 

He strokes Young-Mi's hair gently, soothing her while he promises, "Everything will be all right. You don't need to cry anymore..."

 

 

Young-Mi raises her moist eyes to look into his...

 

"I love only you, and no one else," she whispers. "Can you, someday, love me, too? Knowing that... is all I need to be happy..."

 

 

In response, he kisses her gently, on the forehead...

 

"I'll do my best to make you happy, Young-Mi," he declares earnestly. "I promise..."

 

Hearing this, Young-Mi sighs contentedly and relaxes in his arms, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat...

 

Then, unseen by Hyung-Chul, a calculating smile comes to her lips...