AAE -- Wishes Of The Heart

Chapter 145

written by LoveCR2 -- 2005

edited by All-About-AAE -- 2018

 

"We've been through a lot together, both good and bad... we've earned the right to speak plainly, and hold nothing back" -- Jin Sun-Mi

 

 

MBS CHARITY GALA, GRAND BALLROOM, MUN-YUNG DIAMOND HOTEL...

 

"You're stiff, Sun-Mi... loosen up..."

 

Min-Cho can feel the tension in her body, as he leads Sun-Mi in a slow foxtrot to the music of the Gala's 17-piece big band.

 

"Sorry, I can't help thinking -- I shouldn't have tried to force the issue," she replies with the same pensive mood she'd had at the table. "What if Senior won't even talk with me?"

 

"Let me do the worrying," Min-Cho orders. "You need to focus right now..."

 

"But what about Young-Mi?" she frets, ignoring his counsel. "What if the plan doesn't work?"

 

"Of course it'll work," he assures her cockily, "It's my plan, right?"

 

"You're so arrogant," she laughs, her mood lightening as she finds encouragement in his confidence.

 

"Let's just keep doing it as we discussed... I'll run the interference. So all you need to do is be ready to open the door again, when the moment comes, okay?"

 

"Okay..." she answers, but not without some residual doubts.

 

 

Looking over Sun-Mi's shoulder across the dance floor, Min-Cho notices that Young-Mi, although dancing with Hyung-Chul, is watching them closely. For a second he locks eyes with her, then raises an eyebrow and winks flirtatiously before she looks away...

 

"We have an audience now," he informs Sun-Mi. "It's time..."

 

 

He maneuvers to an open spot and they start off, aggressively sweeping around the dance floor, Min-Cho avoiding the other couples as he carefully steers through the traffic.

 

Concentrating on Min-Cho's directions so as to not misstep, Sun-Mi soon forgets about Young-Mi and Hyung-Chul as she becomes immersed in the moment, moving smoothly and sensuously to the music, her heart racing and senses spinning as they skillfully weave a complex series of figures. Not since the night at the Tate Modern, has she experienced dancing with such intensity and sheer abandon.

 

Soon they draw increasing attention from the surrounding couples, who move back to give Min-Cho and Sun-Mi more space, watching the impromptu performance with astonishment.

 

The band leader picks up the action on the floor and loops the song through additional verses, extending the music and building the energy in a crescendo of brass. Making a final circuit of the floor, Min-Cho whips Sun-Mi through a flying progression of fast turns and twirls, spiraling to a close, then dips her deeply back, to the last count...

 

Appreciative applause breaks out as Sun-Mi and Min-Cho take a quick bow. Then the band leader starts the music again, playing a slower ballad, and the couples go back to dancing.

 

 

Min-Cho picks up the beat with a basic two-step, holding Sun-Mi close while they recover their wind.

 

"That was... exhilarating," she says breathlessly, understating the lightheaded sensations that still has her head whirling and body tingling with the rush of adrenaline.

 

"I hope it had the desired effect," he says ambiguously, leaving it unclear whether he is talking about Sun-Mi or Young-Mi. "Are you ready?"

 

"Ummm..." she indicates the affirmative.

 

Moving closer to their target, he gives Sun-Mi a rakish grin as encouragement, and says, "Good luck, Cinderella..."

 

 

Closing the remaining distance with a couple of steps, Min-Cho taps Hyung-Chul on the shoulder, requesting, "May I cut in?"

 

Hyung-Chul looks to Young-Mi, who nods her approval. "It's okay."

 

The two couples separate, and the men exchange partners. Immediately, Min-Cho moves off with Young-Mi, leaving Hyung-Chul standing awkwardly with Sun-Mi, the debris of their last encounter still heaped between them like an invisible barrier...

 

She looks at him expectantly, waiting...

 

With no other viable option, Hyung-Chul offers his hand, addressing her formally, "May I have this dance, Correspondent Jin Sun-Mi?"

 

"Thank you, Director Yoon," she responds, with the same formality.

 

 

They begin a stiff, uneasy two-step to the slow beat...

 

"You look lovely tonight," he extends the compliment, making safe small talk.

 

"Thank you," she accepts and returns, "You cut a dashing figure, too..."

 

Searching for something to fill the time, he remarks, "That was quite a performance earlier... I didn't know you could dance like that."

 

With his clipped tone, Sun-Mi isn't sure if the observation is intended as sarcasm, or commendation, but she chooses to respond to the latter... "I had an expert teacher, in London..." she starts to explain, then stops abruptly the instant she feels him tense up.

 

"Mr. Atwater appears to be a man of many talents," he remarks icily, with gritted teeth. "I'm afraid you'll find my level of ability doesn't begin to measure up."

 

"It's not just the skill," she replies, trying to recover from the verbal slipup. "It's being with the right partner, too... and the willingness to take a chance."

 

Then feeling that she is only digging a deeper hole, Sun-Mi drops the matter there, and when Hyung-Chul doesn't pick up, they lapse into a strained, tentative silence.

 

 

Facing Hyung-Chul's unyielding demeanor, with the likely possibility she has already failed her attempt, Sun-Mi's doubts rise up again. Moodily, she reflects on the lyrics of g.o.d's hit song, "Road" that they'd just performed...

 

The road that I'm taking

Where it's leading me to, where it's taking me

Or where the final destination is

I have no idea, no clue, no answer

Yet I'm still following this path today

 

Has destiny already been determined for everyone

Or is it that we have to make our own destiny

Nothing's clear so far

Yet I'm still taking another step towards the road

 

Why am I standing on this road?

Is this path really destined for me?

Would my dreams come true at the end of this road?

 

What really gives me pleasure, money, honor?

Or the people I love?

I'm longing for the answer

Yet I still can't find one ...

 

 

Sun-Mi glances at Hyung-Chul, but his eyes are trained elsewhere, their hardness concealing his thoughts. With a sigh, she decides to give up the effort .... it was a long shot anyway, despite Min-Cho's confidence ... and resigns herself, wondering ... where will her road lead now? ... to Min-Cho? ... or nothing? ...

 

Hyung-Chul struggles to keep his eyes away from Sun-Mi, denying the connection that she obvious wants with him... He is determined to stay aloof, fearing any opening... especially here, in public... risks the entire collapse of his restraint. It is better, he decides for both of them, to cast a cold shoulder until the dance ends, and then make a hasty retreat to safety.

 

 

But even where minds out of fear or despair give up hope, hearts can still find a way...

 

Through the silence, with every step together, Sun-Mi and Hyung-Chul are unconsciously conversing, in the languages of motion and balance, melody and rhythm, touch and response, as they physically accomplish what they mentally could not... rebuilding the bridge of broken trust. Gradually, as they intuitively grow more attuned, their initial awkwardness dissolves into facile familiarity, then relaxed commonality...

 

In this new common ground -- they have never danced together before -- Hyung-Chul's fears dissipate, and with them his need to keep Sun-Mi at bay. And as she senses the shift in his attitude, her hopes reawaken with her spirit. What was awkward between them is now easy, as they move securely, fluidly in unison.

 

Too soon, the music ends, and Sun-Mi smiles a silent word of appreciation to Hyung-Chul as they separate.

 

Looking around in vain for Min-Cho and Young-Mi, he observes, "It appears our partners have deserted us."

 

 

"What to do now?" she raises the question, even as she looks into his eyes to suggest at what she isn't saying...

 

He gets the hint, offering, "Shall we take a chance... and try again?"

 

"I'd like that very much..." she replies with a smile, stepping closer...

 

The band starts playing the next song -- a jazzy rendition of Amanda McBroom's "The Rose" -- that Min-Cho had especially requested from the band leader, after consulting with Sun-Mi.

 

 

Taking her right hand and slipping his other around her back, Hyung-Chul holds her close. Sun-Mi rests her head on his shoulder, and this time, from the start, they move together to the familiar melody, as the band's soloist croons the words...

 

Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed.

Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed...

Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need.

I say love, it is a flower, and you its only seed...

 

The vocal verse finished, the band moves into an extended instrumental interlude. Sun-Mi closes her eyes, shutting out everything except the flow of the music and the reassuring feeling of Hyung-Chul's arms holding and guiding her. Focusing her thoughts, she sends out a telepathic message...

 

 

With Sun-Mi's warm, yielding softness in his embrace, and her familiar, subtle fragrance -- rose, with vanilla, and jasmine -- stimulating his olfactory memories, Hyung-Chul thoughts drift back to another time, when she was also in his arms...

 

... 'I didn't mean to call, knowing that it was you ... I didn't think you'd come' ...

 

But he had come, in response to her desperate call, anxiously seeking her out, hoping he wasn't too late to find her...

 

Like then, his reassuring words come automatically, "It's okay now, everything will be all right..." But even as he speaks, guilt brings regrets of another time she had needed him ... that time, he failed to find her, even to try ...

 

"I know. It's okay, for both of us now," she answers serenely. Something in her voice reassures him, making him wonder if her thoughts had been there too, just now, with his...

 

 

The soloist begins the next verse, the words speaking to them both...

 

It's the heart, afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance.

It's the dream, afraid of waking, that never takes a chance.

It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give.

And the soul, afraid of dying, that never learns to live...

 

The singer stops there, but the band continues into another instrumental interlude...

 

 

"Senior?" -- the idea of calling him 'Director Yoon' seems as foreign to the moment as separating herself from his arms.

 

"Umm..." he answers, acknowledging her.

 

"There's something I have to say, while I still have the chance, so there's no misunderstanding between us."

 

Wondering what it is, he replies, "Go on..."

 

"What you spoke about regrets, that some words are better left unsaid," Sun-Mi reminds him of their conversation in her room.

 

"Yes?"

 

"You and I, we've been through a lot together, both good and bad... I think we've earned the right to speak plainly, and hold nothing back," she states boldly, "with no need to fear regret..."

 

"I suppose we do owe that to each other," he concurs after some thought. "Is there something more, you want to say?"

 

 

But Sun-Mi waits while the soloist completes the final verse...

 

When the night has been too lonely, and the road has been too long,

And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong,

Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows,

Lies the seed, that with the sun's love, in the spring becomes the Rose...

 

 

As the music continues, Sun-Mi gathers her resolve, recalling Min-Cho's instructions... 'All you need to do is open the door again' ...

 

"Senior... when I implied that the door was shut between us, that isn't how I really feel," she confesses. "The truth is, I only said that because I was afraid that anything else would be too painful. Actually, that door can never be closed... because it's you..."

 

 

Having said her piece, she waits for his response...

 

"Sun-Mi..." he begins, but then pauses to weigh his words carefully, before continuing...

 

"Yes?" she prompts, turning her head to look up.

 

She sees he is also looking down at her, his eyes as warm now as they were cold before...

 

"Whenever I count my blessings under the stars, this moment will be among them," he tells her earnestly, his eyes communicating what words cannot.

 

She doesn't say anything, it would be superfluous...

 

Sun-Mi rests her head against his broad shoulder again, both mind and heart content, secure in whatever happens, whether her plan succeeds or she walks away empty-handed, she won't be left empty-hearted...