AAE -- Wishes Of The Heart
Chapter 158
written by LoveCR2 -- 2005
edited by All-About-AAE -- 2018
"Senior was staring at me, like seeing a ghost... I just stared back. I couldn't say anything... I couldn't even breathe" -- Jin Sun-Mi
MAPO-GU ... SEVERAL DAYS LATER ...
Nothing I must do
Nowhere I should be
No one in my life
To answer to but me...
No more candlelight
No more purple skies
No one to be near
As my heart slowly dies...
Sun-Mi contemplates the lyrics of Laura Pausini's song One More Time, gazing into her free martini, the third already this evening... 'courtesy of that guy in the navy blue jacket, sitting alone over there' ... the bartender had discreetly informed her...
Perched on a stool at the bar, with her crossed legs presenting a mile-long line from the short skirt of her peach Ralph Lauren suit to the high heels of her blush Saint Laurent ankle-wrap d'Orsay pumps, Sun-Mi is the recipient of considerable male attention in the small neighborhood watering hole...
If I could hold you one more time
like in the days when you were mine
I'd look at you 'till I was blind
So you would stay...
She turns and looks for her benefactor, raising the drink in salute when their eyes meet. When he responds in kind, she puts the glass to her lips and drains it...
... as she intends to get completely wasted, it helps to have someone else paying the bill ...
I'd say a prayer each time you'd smile
Cradle the moments like a child
I'd stop the world if only I
Could hold you one more time...
Catching the eye of a middle-aged man at the far end of the bar who is watching her with open interest, Sun-Mi flashes a flirtatious smile his way. At his raised eyebrow, she pushes her empty glass away as a hint...
I've memorized your face
I know your touch by heart...
But instead of sending over a drink as she anticipates, the man gets up and starts towards Sun-Mi, aiming for the empty seat beside her. Hoping to discourage him, she drops her smile, places her Gucci hand bag on the barstool, and turns a cold shoulder...
Still lost in your embrace
I'd dream of where you are...
Unfazed, the man asks, "Mind if I take this seat?"
Then behind her, she hears a familiar voice intervene...
"The seat is already taken, buddy, so buzz off..."
Dream of where you are...
In-Soo backs up his demand with a determined glare, then to reinforce his claim picks up her bag, slides onto the barstool, and says to the bartender, "Another for my sweetie, whiskey for me."
As the disappointed man retreats back to his former place, Sun-Mi chuckles... "Sweetie? Aren't you overdoing it?"
In-Soo shrugs, "No offense intended."
She smiles back. "None taken."
If I could hold you one more time
like in the days when you were mine...
Their drinks arrive, and Sun-Mi lifts her glass for a toast, "To good friends who show up right on time..."
I'd look at you 'till I was blind
So you would stay...
"Cheers," he responds.
Sun-Mi sips at her drink, lingering over it as the song plays out to the end...
I'd say a prayer each time you'd smile
Cradle the moments like a child...
I'd stop the world if only I
Could hold you one more time...
One more time...
One more time...
Seeing she is in an unusually quiet mood, In-Soo asks, "What's with the down face? Another one of those bad days?"
"I seem to be having them regularly lately," she grumbles, then finishes off the drink, and signals for another...
"So it's good I came along, and not just for turning away unwanted pickups," he replies affably. "Tell me about it..."
Sun-Mi weighs whether to say anything or not, then decides to unburden herself on him...
"I should have refused, when Young-Mi asked me to try on the other dress," she sighs, "What was I thinking?"
"Huh?"
"Wedding dress... She complained hers didn't look right, now that she's gained so much weight, and wanted to see another one."
"Why would Young-Mi be gaining weight now?" he asks, puzzled. "She's always been so slender."
"You didn't know? She's preggers..."
In-Soo acts as if this is news to him... "Really? By her fianc�e?"
Sun-Mi nods. "At first I thought it was just another one of her scams, but there's no doubt about it... Out of all her lies, this is the one that turned out to be true," she laments bitterly.
"Hmmm..." In-Soo is thoughtful at what has suddenly become a surprising turn of events. "That's very interesting. I suppose then, the wedding is happening soon?"
"The 'blessed event' is set for the first Saturday after New Year's, in the church at the orphanage in Kangwon-do, at 4 PM," she gives him the unhappy details.
"But why did you wear a dress for her?" he returns to her original complaint.
"To compare side-by-side," Sun-Mi explains, then pats her flat belly. "I had to add some padding here, of course, to match."
Eyeing her trim figure appreciatively, In-Soo agrees, "Of course... But what's the big deal then?"
"Because just at that moment, of all the bad luck, Senior comes in, right on cue..."
Noticing his incomprehension, she clarifies, "Director Yoon Hyung-Chul..."
Sun-Mi swirls her latest gin and vermouth with a twist of lemon, and downs a swallow before she continues...
"I'm such an idiot!" she berates herself... "Senior was staring at me, like seeing a ghost, and I just stared back... I couldn't say anything... I couldn't even breathe... What an utter fool I am..."
She sighs and knocks the rest of her drink back...
"I was supposed to marry him, not Young-Mi... But..." her voice trails off...
She pushes her empty glass away, and motions the bartender for another...
"... Instead I ran away... like I always do," she says resignedly, "and then I came here, to forget... But the more I try, the worse I feel."
"Trying to drink away sorrows is useless," he counsels. "Better to do something proactive instead, to put the negative behind you."
"Yep," she agrees. "That's exactly what I told myself. "But it's not working. All I can see is my engagement ring on her finger... all I can feel is my enviousness... all I can think is 'what-if' I'd done something differently... that I'd be the one living 'happily ever after'..."
"Who says you can't find your own happiness? Why not try a change of scenery?" In-Soo suggests. "Get out of Seoul, out of Korea. Staying here will only prolong the pain."
Sun-Mi looks into her freshened drink, reflecting on the possibility...
"Wherever I go, or whatever I do, it always come back to here... to him," she concludes, "to what was supposed to be..."
... it's two hearts, entwined together at creation, and now fused for eternity ... the words haunt her ...
In-Soo tries again...
"Go back to London, or New York, or anywhere... just get out of Seoul," he urges strongly. "Tomorrow won't be too soon."
"Why? What's the big deal?" she naturally questions his pressuring.
"Listen to me!" he demands her attention. "I can't tell you how I know this, but you're possibly in grave danger... I don't want to see you get hurt unnecessarily. So please, for your own sake, just go away!"
With four martinis under her belt, and a fifth on the way, Sun-Mi considers In-Soo's dire pronouncements with amusement...
"It's okay. It won't be the first time," she assures him with a crooked grin, "I can handle a little adversity..."