AAE -- Wishes Of The Heart

Chapter 165

written by LoveCR2 -- 2005

edited by All-About-AAE -- 2018

 

"Perhaps it's time, little by little, for that great dream to be replaced by another one" -- Jin Sun-Mi

 

 

DODU HARBOR, JEJU ...

 

"Tsss... Min-Cho? ..."

 

Sun-Mi's whisper comes through the curtain dividing the cabin's double berth in the bow of The Priceless Pearl...

 

"Mmmm...?"

 

"Are you sleeping?"

 

"Not anymore," he grumbles tiredly as he checks the time on his Omega Seamaster chronometer. "It's 2AM... What is it now?"

 

"I can't sleep," she complains, "It's too stifling..."

 

"I can open a port for some fresh air, if that will help," he recommends.

 

"It's not that. I just feel all hemmed in..."

 

"We could switch, this side is bigger," he suggests, alluding to how the curtain dividing the berth had to be hung.

 

"That's not going to help," she declines. "I don't think this is working out... my being here..."

 

 

At this point, Min-Cho realizes Sun-Mi is not talking about the berth...

 

"Stop beating around the bush," he encourages her. "Just say what's on your mind."

 

"Actually... I don't feel right, running away from my problems," she confesses.

 

"This isn't running away, it's being prudent," he states. "Seoul is too dangerous right now. Your life is at risk if you go back."

 

"And my dignity is at risk if I don't," she contends. "I have to face reality sometime. Putting it off won't make anything easier."

 

"This sounds specious," he challenges her. "What's really going on?"

 

 

Silence... then a sigh...

 

"You're right," she admits, "The truth is, although I keep telling myself that True Love isn't real, that I mustn't believe in it... somehow I feel that if I can believe just once more -- that until Senior and Young-Mi exchange their vows -- there's a possibility Senior... and I..."

 

Her voice trails off... she doesn't have to say more, because he knows the hope in her heart...

 

"And if there isn't?" he prompts for her fallback plan.

 

 

Silence again...

 

He hears a sniffle, then a quiet sob...

 

"Sun-Mi, are you all right?" Min-Cho reaches out.

 

"Yes... No... I really don't know... I'm such a fool," she berates herself miserably. "True Love? I must be a real idiot to believe in that, right? But I can't help myself..."

 

"You're not a fool," he tries to hearten her.

 

"Then why," ... her voice breaks ... "why do I feel like, at any moment, I'm going to die?"

 

 

Immediately, Min-Cho throws off his blanket and sits up. Grabbing the curtain, with a sharp tug he pulls it down from the jury-rigged hooks he'd fastened to the underside of the deck.

 

The barrier between them removed, in the dim harbor light coming through the ports he sees Sun-Mi, wrapped in her blanket.

 

Startled by his unexpected action, she stares up at him, her eyes glistening and about to overflow.

 

 

Impulsively, he gathers Sun-Mi up into his embrace, holding her as she breaks out in anguished sobs...

 

"It's okay," he tells her, "Go ahead. Don't hold it in... Cry all you want to."

 

 

LATER...

 

After the tears have run their course, Sun-Mi lies close to Min-Cho in the berth, her head resting on his pillow, a shared blanket covering them both up to their waists. He reclines on his side, head elevated on his left arm, looking down on her as she sleeps soundly.

 

With each breath, her chest rises and falls slightly under the yellow French terry fabric of her pajama top. He studies her face, beatific in tranquility where an hour ago was heartrending grief, gazing at her dark lashes and full lips, remembering...

 

... when he'd first seen her sweet, innocent smile, and immediately fallen into 'love at first sight' ...

 

... when he'd seen her blush prettily with embarrassment after showing him her fiery side on their first meeting again ...

 

... when he'd sealed their 'first official date', amid falling snowflakes, having his first taste of the sweetness of her mouth, his first experience of the ardor she kept buried deep in her heart ...

 

... when he'd held her for their first 'five-minute' embrace, and she opened the door to more than friendship between them ...

 

... when he'd first seen glimpses of those things she 'preferred to keep secret' on the day she moved into his apartment ...

 

... when he'd first realized her innate strength and resilience after being attacked, and resolved his intent to protect her for life ...

 

... when he'd danced with her for the first time, and shared his feelings of how priceless she was to him ...

 

... when he'd watched her tears, on their last date in London, as she told him that her true heart lay with someone else ...

 

... when he'd found her lying in the hospital, pallid as if death was a breath away ...

 

... when he'd looked into her eyes, once so sparkling and lively, staring back at him, empty of recognition ...

 

... when he'd first seen her eyes twinkling at him with teasing mirth again, and knew that miracles are possible ...

 

And finally...

 

... when he'd watched her with Yoon Hyung-Chul as they danced at the Gala, revealing a depth of love she'd never shown to him ...

 

 

In a moment of temptation, he considers taking possession of her lips to steal another kiss, like their first -- hoping that maybe, if another miracle is possible, to steal her heart -- but instead he restrains the urge and brushes a lock of hair from her left temple, uncovering the scar from the day she had almost perished.

 

"I'll always protect you, Sun-Mi," he vows. "Whatever happens, I promise that I'll always be there for you, and always love you..."

 

As if in response to his words, Sun-Mi's eyelids flutter, opening half-way...

 

When she sees his face, so close in front of her, she initially pulls back in surprise, flustered at the unexpectedly intimate position she finds herself in.

 

But then she remembers... his protective embrace holding firm in her flood of tears... his patient ear bearing up under the outpouring from her aching heart... his gentle and reassuring words calming her abject despair...

 

For a moment, the sense of hopelessness washes over Sun-Mi again, and she yearns for the support of his arms, for the certainty his steady presence gives her of being loved and cared for...

 

From the expression in his eyes, she reads his yearning, too, and understands the potential, and peril, that the moment presents...

 

... but there is something she has to do first ...

 

 

Briefly, she places her palm on his chest -- feeling his T-shirt still damp where she'd wept into it -- to acknowledge their mutual need even as she signals her wish to keep a safe space between them...

 

"That... what happened before... I'm sorry to be such a burden," she apologizes for her earlier, unrestrained behavior.

 

He smiles, covering his disappointment, answering soothingly, "I understand. It's okay."

 

"No, it isn't," she objects. "Crying over another man, when I know how you feel about me... I'm too much..."

 

"If you were any other way, you wouldn't be the person I know," he brushes off her concern. "Anytime you need a shoulder to cry on, this one is available, no questions asked."

 

"Hearing that makes me feel even more shameless," she complains. "Being so dependent on you, when I do nothing for you in return."

 

"That's not true. Just your being here is something," he asserts.

 

"How? Making you wait as I go back and forth, one day a step closer, the next a step back? Never knowing where my true feelings lie?" she argues against her own case. "Aren't you sick of it by now? I even asked you to help me win back another man's love! Doesn't that upset you?"

 

"It's certainly not my preference," he states honestly. "But the fact you and I are here like this, right now, tells me you've taken a big step forward. I know now, that I have your full trust and confidence. That means a lot to someone who doesn't have many good friends."

 

Sun-Mi points out... "I don't feel like I'm a good friend..."

 

"Don't you think it's up to me to decide who I consider my friends?" he claims the prerogative.

 

Nodding, she concedes with a grin, warmed by the undeserved acceptance, "But I still feel guilty, treating you like this..."

 

A second later, her eyes sparkle as she surprises him with a quick, spontaneous peck on the cheek.

 

 

"What's that for?" Min-Cho asks elatedly.

 

"For always being available when I need a safe port in a storm," she explains, moving her hand up to touch his cheek. "You know, I'm tempted to stay here and never leave."

 

"But is that reasonable?" he disputes the possibility. "I recall how told me about wanting to fly away, soaring like an eagle high in the clouds, free to seek out your dreams."

 

"Perhaps it's time, little by little," she muses, snuggling up closer, "for that great dream to be replaced by another one."

 

He puts his arm around Sun-Mi again, drawing her close against himself, and she doesn't refuse him...

 

 

This is a moment Min-Cho wishes could last forever, but knows will be only too brief...

 

"When will you go back to Seoul?" he asks, wanting to know how much time remains for them to be together.

 

"I have to leave this morning. There's a seven o'clock flight I can catch," she informs him of her plans. "I'm sorry, but I won't be able to sail on with you to Sasebo."

 

"I'll wait here until you come back, and we can go then," he decides on the spot, then realizes he is being presumptive, and corrects himself, "I mean, supposing you choose to come back..."

 

 

His unusual concession brings a smile to Sun-Mi's lips, after bearing so long with his usual arrogance.

 

"But what if I don't come back, and die of a broken heart instead?" she predicts jokingly. "What will you do then?"

 

"Then I should go, too -- accompany you for morale support -- so that never happens," he declares.

 

"I can't have you come along," she replies. "This is something I need to do on my own... to put the past behind me."

 

"I promise to be quiet and stay in that little basket," he offers humorously, evoking a picture of Dorothy with Toto.

 

Sun-Mi laughs...

 

"I was just playing drama queen again," she refers back to her joke. "Really, our time together these days has given me enough strength... I'll be all right."

 

"When you arrive, I'll have a man waiting at the airport to accompany you," Min-Cho offers protection.

 

"That's not necessary," she declines the offer. "I'll only be in Seoul a few hours, and Daddy will drive me to the wedding."

 

He doesn't back down, "Please, I insist, if only for my peace of mind."

 

"Thank you, Min-Cho," she relents, expressing her gratitude. "You know, I don't deserve you."

 

"I know," he teases back, "but I still deserve you, anyway."

 

"You're so arrogant!" she pretends to complain. "How could I live, facing that every day?"

 

"A person has to be overly confident when living faced with uncertainty every day," he counters, tweaking her previous argument.

 

 

Considering his words, Sun-Mi makes an impulsive decision...

 

"When I come back, I'll be more certain," she promises, "Then we can take that next step forward, together..."

 

"I appreciate that, but I won't hold you to a promise that may be impossible to keep," he replies, keeping his hopes in check. "But I promise you that whenever your heart is ready, I'll be waiting to receive it."

 

 

Tears spring to Sun-Mi's eyes, and her voice simmers with emotion... "Why are you so good to me?"

 

An ominous feeling -- a sense of d�j� vu -- sends a chill down Min-Cho's back...

 

... She had said those same words to him, just before leaving for New York...

 

 

He holds Sun-Mi tighter, as if his arms could somehow protect her after she's gone...

 

"All I want is for you to come back safely," he cautions again earnestly. "Be careful... Don't take those threats lightly."

 

"Don't worry," she dismisses his worries with a confident smile. "What can possibly happen during a wedding at a convent?"