AAE -- Wishes Of The Heart

Chapter 192

written by LoveCR2 -- 2005

edited by All-About-AAE -- 2018

 

"But now we're different people, with a different relationship. Is it possible to go back to 'just like before' again?" -- Yoon Hyung-Chul

 

 

SUN-MI'S OFFICE, MBS YEOUIDO HQ ...

 

"Is there something you wanted to say to me?"...

 

Sun-Mi looks across the coffee table at Hyung-Chul, but his expression is inscrutable...

 

"You've hardly spoken a word," she observes. "Do you disapprove?"

 

 

"It's not going to be easy, this direction you want to go," he answers.

 

She nods, and smiles wanly...

 

"I know you think I've overstepped again, putting idealism before pragmatism, but this is something I have to do," she speaks with conviction, "I don't expect you to understand."

 

"What you choose to do is your prerogative, Madame Chairwoman," he replies respectfully.

 

"But I can't do this, without your help. I hope that you're not upset I chose Uncle instead of you," she airs her other concern.

 

"What you choose to do is your prerogative, Madame Chairwoman," he repeats his non-committal reply.

 

 

Sun-Mi sighs sharply, irritated by his vague responses...

 

"Senior..." she begins, then corrects herself...

 

"Director Yoon, my prerogative is that when we're alone, we drop the formality," she orders. "It's too stifling."

 

 

After thinking for a moment, he asks, "What do you prefer, then?"

 

"Just like before, Senior."

 

"But now we're different people, with a different relationship," he points out the obvious distinction, that he now works for her. "Is it possible to go back to 'just like before' again?"

 

 

Sun-Mi gets up from her chair and steps over to the windows.

 

Hyung-Chul remains seated, letting his eyes follow her...

 

Gazing out at the Yeouido lights, she answers his question with her own, "I don't know... Is it?"

 

She turns from the window to look at him, asking pointedly, "Senior, how do you really feel?"

 

 

... she had asked him that question once before, and after hearing his answer, misunderstood and broken off their relationship ...

 

"Before I answer, perhaps we should clear up some things first," he suggests, "so there are no misunderstandings."

 

 

She agrees... "You go first."

 

"Michael Atwater?" he need say only the name.

 

"Before I came for the meeting, I went to see Min-Cho off, at Gimpo," she answers sparingly of her actions, but clarifies, "We parted as good friends..."

 

"What about your engagement?"

 

"It was never official, just a strategy against Young-Mi, and Kim Eun-Ki," she explains the intent. "But things didn't work out as I'd hoped, and now I regret misleading everyone, especially you."

 

 

Satisfied, he yields to her, "Now, it's your turn."

 

"You were with me that night, before I woke up in the hospital. Why didn't you say anything?" she brings up the question she'd pondered since.

 

"At the moment, I felt I'd be intruding between you and your father," he replies. "I thought it better to wait for later."

 

"But you never called, or tried to contact me," she challenges his explanation.

 

"That -- I felt guilty over what had happened," he admits. "I didn't know what to say. In retrospect, I should have tried anyway."

 

"Then, it wasn't because of Young-Mi?"

 

"There is nothing between Young-Mi and me," he claims. "There never was."

 

"But I watched you promise your life-long love to Young-Mi," Sun-Mi reminds him. "Does a vow mean so little to you?"

 

"A vow made due to false pretenses is not binding," he justifies himself. "It was based on my belief that Young-Mi was the mother of my child, not on my love for her."

 

What is perfectly reasonable to him, instead sets Sun-Mi on edge...

 

"Then it's even worse, that you'd deliberately live a lie, denying your wife her rightful place in your heart," she argues her perspective.

 

Having no answer to that, he tries to move on, "But it never happened. What difference does that make now?"

 

 

"It makes all the difference in the world," she states. "Senior, I believed in you, because I thought you were sincere...."

 

She turns away, to look out the window again, displaying her displeasure...

 

"But now... you no longer seem to be that person I once trusted," she charges.

 

 

Hyung-Chul gets up from his chair and walks over to stand next to Sun-Mi, but she refuses to look at him.

 

"You said that you believed in giving second chances," he reminds her about Sun-Dal.

 

 

The seconds pass interminably for him, watching her back, while she ponders the possibilities, and the problems...

 

 

"I ... I'm not sure I know how to do that," she finally replies, "You broke my heart... so many times..."

 

"All I can say is that I'm truly sorry," he offers his apology hopefully, albeit knowing mere words are insufficient.

 

"Being sorry doesn't restore what was lost, or heal what is broken," she brushes his regrets aside as meaningless. "It's not easy to forget, or forgive, when the scars cut so deep."

 

"Please, give me a chance to try," he pleads. "Little by little, trust can be earned, and scars healed..."

 

 

... she had said similar words to Young-Mi, giving her hope for a future ... if only she could believe those words herself, bury the pain in her heart, and come back to him ...

 

 

"You don't deserve it... You're so bad..." she scolds him harshly, as tears wash her face. "Sometimes, I hate you so much, I wish we'd never met!"

 

"If that's how you truly feel," he replies, resigned to his failure to persuade her, "then there is nothing left to say..."

 

When she doesn't reply, he reluctantly decides to leave.

 

 

But as Hyung-Chul takes a step, indignantly, Sun-Mi turns around, her wet eyes blazing...

 

"What are you doing?!" she confronts him. "I only said I hate you! ... That doesn't mean I'm rejecting you..."

 

 

Perplexed by her contrary positions, he is uncertain of how to respond.

 

"Actually, as much as I tell myself we should be through ... I ... can't ... stop ... loving you," she declares her true feelings.

 

 

Hyung-Chul can't believe what he just heard! Tongue-tied, he stares at Sun-Mi...

 

"Why are you standing there, acting like a fool?" she chides his inaction. "Don't you have something to give me?"

 

"Huh?" ... he has no idea what she means.

 

"A handkerchief?" she clarifies.

 

Embarrassed, he quickly takes a folded white, monogrammed cloth from his pocket and hands it to her, watching as she wipes her eyes clear.

 

"Better?" he asks when she finishes.

 

"Uh-huh..." she replies, then prompts, "Isn't there something else you have to give me, too?"

 

Hyung-Chul is no less oblivious than before... "What is it? Whatever you want, I'll give you everything."

 

"I don't need everything, Senior," she replies, smiling at his cluelessness. "Just one thing..."

 

 

 

Stepping closer, Sun-Mi raises her arms to circle his neck.

 

"Holding me, for five minutes, is enough..."

 

She rests her head on his shoulder gratefully, contentedly, contemplating the vagaries of fate, that what is impossible one day, may be possible the next, as long as hope is alive...

 

... maybe, after all, it's okay to be an idiot who still believes in True Love ...