AAE -- Wishes Of The Heart
Chapter 199
written by LoveCR2 -- 2005
edited by All-About-AAE -- 2019
"You're right, I have nothing more to lose... if it's something I've already lost." -- Yoon Hyung-Chul
ODYSSEY CLUB, SEONGNAM ...
Dol-abolsuneun eobseosseo ...
(I couldn't look back at my past)
Dugounnae iss-eulppun-i nal-an-abolsu eobsdolog ...
(Because I wanted to run away)
Neol-ilwogago sip-eossji ...
(From the sorrow I left behind)
Sitting alone, hunched over the bar, Hyung-Chul listens to the singer cover Park Hee Soo's 'Sadness Left Behind' ...
Dagaojimal-ajwo ...
(Please don't come closer)
sangcheobad-eun naeyeonghon-eun dolbwajumyeo geuleolsulog ...
(My weary soul is afraid)
Gyeondilsuga eobs-euni ...
(and I cannot endure it)
He stares into his empty glass, thinking about Sun-Mi, wondering how things had come to this...
Ninunmul-eun naenunmul-eun meoljiman ij-eoyahae
(Your tears are far from my tears, but I have to forget)
With the end of the song, light applause comes from the small audience.
Hyung-Chul looks up at the bartender and pushes the glass across to him. "Give me another, and make it a double," he orders a refill.
"Haven't you had enough for tonight, Director?"
"Just one more..."
The bartender does a quick evaluation, decides that this customer is barely sober enough to serve, and confirms, "Coming..."
While waiting for the refill, Hyung-Chul takes out a cigarette and lights up. Exhaling a stream of smoke up over the bar, he contemplates the contradiction he's faced with...
... 'Senior, I believed in you, because I thought you were sincere. But you no longer seem to be that person I once trusted ...You broke my heart so many times, you don't deserve another chance... Sometimes, I hate you so much, I wish we'd never met!' ...
... 'I only said I hate you! That doesn't mean I reject you. As much as I tell myself we should be through, I can't stop loving you, too' ...
Back with the drink, the bartender remarks, "This isn't like you, Director. What's on your mind tonight?"
Hyung-Chul replies with a question of his own, "What's both the boon and the bane of man's existence?"
"Woman," the bartender answers immediately, then ventures a guess, "Just got dumped?"
Hyung-Chul shakes his head. "Nope. Not yet, anyway. Says she loves me... when she doesn't hate me, that is..."
"So what's the problem?" the bartender jokes lightly, as if contradictions are par for the course with women.
Hyung-Chul smiles wanly. "The problem ...?"
... 'Actually, I'm on my way to visit an old friend right now' ...
He mulls the situation over again while sipping his drink, answering, "She might love someone else more than me."
"Barkeep! Another beer!" a man at the far end of the bar calls out.
"Coming," the bartender confirms. He grabs a clean glass and starts to fill it from the tap as he continues to converse with Hyung-Chul, "What will you do about that? Just let her do what she wants?"
"What else can I do?" Hyung-Chul concedes his helplessness. "You can't make someone love you."
"No, but you can tell her to choose... you or him," the bartender counsels as he draws a full head on the beer. "If it's you, that ends your misery. If it's not, you're free to move on, and that ends your misery, too. What do you have to lose?"
Hyung-Chul muses on that idea... "You're right, I've nothing more to lose... if it's something I've already lost."
Beep-beep-beep... Beep-beep-beep ... Hyung-Chul's mobile announces he is receiving a new text message.
The bartender leaves to deliver the beer as Hyung-Chul picks up his cell phone, flips it open, and silently reads the message...
'Don't wait for me. Sorry'
"Bad news?" the bartender asks as he comes back and sees Hyung-Chul's disappointed expression.
"It looks like she's already made that choice," Hyung-Chul interprets the message despondently.
"Sorry," he empathizes.
"Yeah, said she's sorry too..."
Hyung-Chul upends his glass, tossing down the remaining contents in a single gulp and shoving the glass away...
"And I'm a sorry fool..."
"Tell ya what," the bartender offers consolation as he removes the empty glass off the bar, "This one's on the house..."
PYEONGCHANG-DONG, SEOUL ...
"I heard a little ruckus..."
Joo-Hee brings up her concern as she enters the living room where her husband is resting on the couch, feet up on the coffee table, drink in hand, staring at the TV with the sound muted...
Sun-Dal glances up at his wife and smiles. She has already changed for sleep into one of his favorite nightgowns, a Frette baby doll chemise of ivory silk with spaghetti straps that bare her shoulders, that is just long enough to cover her matching brazilian-style panty.
"That was Dae-Hyun, refusing to go to bed," he answers. "Mi-Rae was a little angel by comparison. She was so exhausted she was out before I'd finished two pages in our book... " He pats the couch next to him, inviting her to sit. "How is Ah-Ri?"
"Fed and sound asleep, for a few hours, anyway," Joo-Hee answers, wriggling her hips seductively for his benefit as the 100mm heels of her white satin Dior marabou mules tap across the hardwood floor.
She settles down next to Sun-Dal, tucks her legs up on the cushion, and leans her head on his shoulder.
"How about you, Dear?" she asks, sliding her hand along his thigh. "Are you exhausted, too?"
He chuckles, reflecting on the recent events at MBS. "When am I not these days? With all the changes, everyone is on edge."
"And Sun-Mi? I'm concerned about her. How is she doing?"
"Being a female announcer must be good training for making Board Chair," he remarks jokingly. "She seems to have nerves of steel. It doesn't matter what is thrown at her, it all seems to roll off her back."
"Sun-Mi is stronger than I knew," Joo-Hee remarks. "I give her a lot of credit, especially now that she's alone..."
"Alone?"
"I mean, with her parents retired and moved to Chungnam-do, she has no one to come home to. And last time I spoke with Sun-Mi, she was uncertain about Hyung-Chul, too. I hope they can work things out and get back together, for his sake. Lately, I noticed that he hasn't seemed his usual self, and..."
"Do we always have to talk about Hyung-Chul?" Sun-Dal interrupts, complaining tiredly.
"We're best friends. Shouldn't we want to see him find happiness, too?" she justifies continuing interest in her former, unrequited love.
"Look, I understand that you have a warm spot in your heart for Hyung-Chul. After all, you pined over him for years. But at some point, it's enough," Sun-Dal addresses his wife's fixation firmly.
"You're scolding me again..." Joo-Hee pouts.
"What husband honestly wants to share his wife's affections with another man?" Sun-Dal argues earnestly. "How would you feel if I talked about another woman all the time, how great she is, and how I'm concerned about her?"
"A little jealous," she admits, as she recalls the times when Hyung-Chul had done just that with her.
"Of course I'm jealous, too," he declares. "On the other hand, your past, and your heart, are part of who you are. If you're not true to yourself, I don't think I'd like that either. So I'm willing to indulge you, because you're precious to me."
Joo-Hee slips her left hand into his, entwining their fingers, bringing their wedding rings together...
"That's why I love you so much. You know me better than anyone, and still accept me," she says, her voice breaking with emotion. "I don't deserve to have someone like you."
"Whether we deserve each other, or not, isn't my point. All I ask is that you keep the hottest fire in your heart burning for me. Okay?"
"Mmm-hmm," she concurs, answering coyly, "But every fire needs a bit of stoking now and then..."
Taking her not-so-subtle hint, he nuzzles Joo-Hee's ear and nape. "Like this?"
"That's nice," she coos.
He moves across her shoulder, showering her silken skin with a string of soft smooches.
"Nicer..." she murmurs huskily, her eyes ablaze with burgeoning desire when they connect.
Then her lips find his, too, and they indulge in wordless dialog, savoring the ardent delights of amor...