AAE -- Wishes Of The Heart

Chapter 201

written by LoveCR2 -- 2005

edited by All-About-AAE -- 2019

 

 

"I thought I knew what love was, what it meant to be in love, but now that I'm at the cusp of it, everything is in a quandary." -- Jin Sun-Mi

 

 

HYUNG-CHUL'S VILLA ...

 

... 'I love you, Sun-Mi... My heart aches for you' ...

 

Recalling Hyung-Chul's impassioned words, Sun-Mi stares at her reflection in the steam-obscured bathroom mirror, at the ugly scar left by Bae In-Soo's blade. From there she lifts her eyes until she is looking at the jagged gash on her left temple above her left eyebrow. With her concealing makeup wiped off, the blood-red blemish is appallingly conspicuous on her silky, pearlescent complexion.

 

But focusing on the ravages to her body does not distract her from the concerns in her mind...

 

"Why did I have to kiss him?" she berates herself. "I've got to be more careful, keep my head together..."

 

... against her own better judgment, she'd lost herself in his mesmerizing eyes, a mistake she can't afford to repeat ... too much is at stake ...

 

 

She finishes toweling her hair damp-dry, then puts on the long-tailed, blue dress shirt borrowed from Hyung-Chul's closet while her washable clothes are in the laundry. The voluminous shirt loosely drapes her petite figure. She buttons up to her neck and rolls up the excessive sleeve length to her elbows.

 

Taking his white terrycloth robe from the hook by the door, she slips it on over her shoulders, cinching the belt tight around her waist. Securely girded, she is ready to go back...

 

 

Padding quietly from the bathroom, Sun-Mi looks in on Hyung-Chul, expecting that he'd fallen asleep while she showered... but he is sitting up in the bed, looking back at her... his deep, dark eyes as dangerous as ever ...

 

Seeing her swathed shoulder-to-knee in his oversized bathrobe, he smiles. "Finally..."

 

"Sorry I took so long."

 

"I've waited almost seven years, 30 minutes is nothing," he jokes pointedly.

 

... seven years ago, he'd knocked her off her feet in the first of a chain of events from which she'd never fully regained solid footing ...

 

 

"I hope you don't mind that I borrowed this robe and one of your shirts," she apologizes with the explanation, "I had nothing else to change into."

 

"No problem... Anytime," he brushes aside her concern, eager to resume where they had broken off.

 

From the gleam in his gaze, she knows what he is expecting, and quickly averts her eyes, before she is lost in them again...

 

"Well... um... goodnight, Senior," she tells him, sounding awkward to her own ears. "I'll be on the couch, if you need anything."

 

 

But he isn't as accepting of her diffident attitude as she'd hoped...

 

"Actually, since you said you'd stay the night, I thought that you'd be coming to bed," he replies, questioning her choice.

 

"I said I'd stay, to take care of you," she reminds him, standing firm. "The couch is perfectly comfortable for that."

 

"Then what was that about earlier... before you went to shower?" he asks, wanting to know what her motivation was for kissing him.

 

"A kiss is just a kiss," Sun-Mi answers. "A passing moment to share together. I wasn't intending, or expecting, anything more."

 

"But I love you, and you love me, isn't that expectation enough?" he presses his point.

 

"All the more reason why we shouldn't sleep together," she argues. "I don't want something to happen that shouldn't. We're not married, or even engaged... We don't have that kind of relationship."

 

He thinks of the engagement ring recently purchased, locked securely in his office desk for the 'right' moment ... if only he had it here, he could propose instead, on-the-spot ...

 

"You don't trust me?" he searches for her reason.

 

"Senior, I do trust you. It's me that I don't trust," she answers with honest self-appraisal. "Because it's you..."

 

 

Hyung-Chul pats the bed beside him. "Come over here. Sit. Let's talk."

 

Sun-Mi approaches and warily sits on the bed where he'd indicated, wondering what he has to say...

 

"This is confusing to me," he states. "On the one hand, you come on aggressive and seductive, but on the other, you act so 'old-fashioned'... What do you really want?"

 

"That's a good question," she admits. "It's like you say, one hand opposing the other... My mind going in circles, with thoughts and feelings that are confusing to me, too..."

 

She sighs.

 

"All along, I thought I knew what love was, what it meant to be in love, but now that I'm at the cusp of it, everything is in a quandary... I'm sorry, Senior, but I need more time."

 

"I understand, a lot has happened recently," he supports her, but can't help jesting again, "The way I see it, if you don't figure things out in this life, we have the next one, too."

 

Sun-Mi chuckles uncomfortably, as his joke hits home, lowering her eyes in embarrassment...

 

"I know how shameless I've been, how hard I've made things for you," she apologizes. "Why are still you so good to me? It just makes me feel more guilty when I'm with you."

 

"I don't know why," he grins forgivingly. "And I don't care. It's enough as long as we can be together. I won't expect anything more..."

 

 

Hearing this brings a lump to Sun-Mi's throat, and tears to her eyes...

 

She wraps her arms around his neck, hugging him, her voice breaking, "Thank you, Senior. It means so much to hear you say that."

 

He embraces her, too, holding her securely, comfortingly... tenderly ...

 

"Since you chose to take care of me tonight, all I'm asking is that you stay close beside me," he implores again.

 

... even without looking, her resolve is melting ...

 

"Okay, just this once," she accedes to his wishes, but on her terms...

 

She lies down next to Hyung-Chul, on top of the duvet -- keeping that minimal, but symbolic, barrier between them -- and rests her head on his shoulder.

 

"Let's get some sleep," she declares her intention clearly. "You're drunk, I'm totally exhausted, and tomorrow's almost here."

 

 

He turns off the bedside lamp and puts his arm around Sun-Mi, content she has trusted him with the privilege.

 

"Good night, Sun-Mi. Sweet dreams..."

 

 

A few minutes later, after she feels his arm around her relax and his breathing change. Certain he is asleep, she answers...

 

"Good night, Senior... Whatever happens, remember that I love you, only you..."