AAE -- Wishes Of The Heart

Chapter 206

written by LoveCR2 -- 2005

edited by All-About-AAE -- 2019

 

"I want you to know, moving on doesn't mean forgetting, or regretting... Because it's you." -- Yoon Hyung-Chul

 

 

JAMWON HANGANG PARK, GANGNAM ...

 

"I'm glad you could be here for my birthday, Senior. I had a nice time..."

 

Sun-Mi gives Hyung-Chul an appreciative smile as they exit ON River Station in the wake of a few other couples from the 1F bar. She takes his arm, and they cross the gangway ramp back onto firm ground, then ascend the steps back up to the river walkway.

 

Having preceding them out to the adjacent car park, Jin-Woo is waiting in his red Mercedes-Benz 320 convertible roadster.

 

 

"I'm not ready to let you go, just yet..." Hyung-Chul pleads for more time.

 

He has the ring he'd bought in his jacket pocket, waiting for the right time to propose ... If he can persuade her to stay, that 'right time' could be now ...

 

 

Sun-Mi sends Jin-Woo a little wave to let him know she'll be awhile. She starts off, heading west with Hyung-Chul, her hand tucked into the crook of his elbow. They slowly stroll along the asphalt path, taking in the view.

 

Away from the restaurant, the river walk is mostly deserted, with few couples out at the late hour. Ahead of them, the fading sunset still tinges the horizon with dull orange beyond the illuminated spans of the Hannam Hangang Bridge.

 

For the first time in the evening, they are alone, without the possibility of being possibly overheard, and Hyung-Chul feels free to speak openly...

 

"Another sunset, another river," he remarks pensively. "It seems like we've been here before."

 

"I'm sorry, Senior that things worked out like this," Sun-Mi offers slight consolation to his mood.

 

"What is it, this time, that you have to do?" he voices his frustration. "Haven't you achieved all your dreams?"

 

"It's not just that. It's also because of me..." she starts, but is interrupted...

 

"I know... You're not the person I think you are. You're not the right person to stay beside me. You're the kind of person who will do anything to get what she wants," he repeats her list impatiently, displaying his irritation.

 

"Senior, I'm just trying to be honest with you," she defends herself.

 

"But I'm tired of hearing it," he complains. "Why not show me 'that person' instead, and let me decide for myself?"

 

"If it were so simple, don't you think I'd have done that already?" she pleads her case.

 

"How can it be so hard, when we love each other?" he asks plaintively.

 

"Because it's not just about us. There are promises that I have to keep," she replies, declining to elaborate, trying to end the matter between them.

 

 

But Hyung-Chul persists...

 

"Then go and do what you have to do, and when you finish, come back to me. I'll wait for you," he promises.

 

Sun-Mi comes to a halt, and looks him straight in the eyes...

 

"Senior, I want it to be clear. I'm not planning to come back to this life," she states her intentions candidly, hoping to dissuade him. "I am moving on, and not looking back. My mind is made up... It's pointless for you to wait for me."

 

The seriousness in her eyes confirm to him the veracity of her words...

 

"That night at the Gala, you said ... 'we've earned the right to speak plainly, and hold nothing back'..." he reminds her. "So I think I have to right to know why you're leaving. Don't leave me hanging like this, twisting in the dark."

 

"All right," she relents, "But you mustn't breathe a word to anyone, ever," she requires first. "Promise?"

 

"I promise," he vows. "Now, tell me why..."

 

 

Sun-Mi doesn't answer immediately. Instead she starts walking again with Hyung-Chul, her arm linked with his, her eyes fixed on the horizon until the last vestige of color fades into the mists. Willing to give her latitude, he accompanies her patiently, grateful for the extra minutes it give them to be together.

 

Finally she stops and releases his arm, stepping back so they face each other, before she speaks again...

 

"Remember, you promised..."

 

"Yes," he confirms.

 

"I'm leaving because..." she hesitates as if about to change her mind, takes a breath, then plows ahead with her explanation, "Because I'm going to be a mother soon."

 

The nascent smile on her lips dies when she sees the expression of surprise and disappointment on Hyung-Chul's face...

 

"What?" he exclaims dubiously, scrutinizing her body-skimming sheath, looking for corroborating evidence... "Are you joking!"

 

"It's no joke, Senior," her serious expression corroborates her words.

 

"Who's the father?!" he demands from her the first thing that crosses his mind.

 

The question rankles Sun-Mi. "What difference does it make?" she snaps back, declining to reveal any more.

 

From her apparent lack of a visible baby bump, Hyung-Chul calculates the probable timeframe, and guesses at the likely culprit...

 

"You said you met Michael Atwater before he left Seoul... Did he take advantage of you then? Force himself on you?" he casts the aspersions, struggling to reconcile her revelation with his belief in Sun-Mi's traditional attitudes, and jumps to conclusions. "That jerk! I'll kill him!"

 

Sun-Mi is aghast. "Chairman Yoon, you're out of line! ... Min-Cho is not that kind of person!" she tells him off vehemently, her eyes flaring heatedly, then makes her situation clear, "For the record, I made this choice for myself! No one forced it on me!"

 

 

The frank admission compounds Hyung-Chul's shock. He simply can't believe what he is hearing...

 

"Have you lost your senses? I'd expect this of a person like Huh Young-Mi, not you!" Hyung-Chul blusters, "This isn't like..."

 

 

Sun-Mi cuts him off, cold...

 

"You bastard! ... You're such a hypocrite!" she spits out venomously, her words having the same effect as a stinging slap to his left cheek.

 

"This IS like me! This is the real person you claimed you wanted to know better!" she retorts furiously, reminding him he is only hearing what he asked for. "And now, you look at me like I'm some sort of degenerate?"

 

Angry, hurt tears well up, threatening to spill over...

 

Too late, Hyung-Chul realizes his error. "I'm sorry," he makes a lame apology, trying to atone for his careless words.

 

He reaches out hoping to console her, but she brushes his hand away...

 

"Why couldn't you have just let things go as they were?" her voice trembles with hurt... "Why did you have to do this? Are you happy now?"

 

 

Hyung-Chul struggles for words, afraid that whatever he says will only compound the injury...

 

"If you have nothing more to say, I do," Sun-Mi declares. "This is the last time I'll see you like this... perhaps the last time I'll see you, ever! ... Goodbye, Chairman Yoon!"

 

She storms off in a fury, the heel tips of her 115mm metallic spikes pounding the pavement harshly with hasty, harried strides...

 

 

Seeing Sun-Mi break away, Jin-Woo moves the car nearer, reducing the distance she has to cross.

 

 

Hyung-Chul watches Sun-Mi's back, still lost as to what to say, aware that his window of opportunity is closing rapidly. Unconsciously his feet start to move, propelling him after her, the motion shaking him out of his mental stupor...

 

Breaking into a trot, he catches up to Sun-Mi when she is almost to the car.

 

"Sun-Mi, wait!" he calls desperately.

 

She ignores him, not breaking her determined stride.

 

Grabbing her by the wrist, he forces Sun-Mi to a stop and spins her around to face him... and sees that her face is wet with tears...

 

"Let me go!" she hisses, struggling to break free.

 

 

Jin-Woo, alarmed, turns off the engine and gets out of the car, intending to intervene if necessary.

 

 

"I have something to say first!" Hyung-Chul tells her forcefully, then aware that Jin-Woo is listening, drops his voice, "I don't want us to part like this... Please, hear me out."

 

 

Sun-Mi stops struggling, her moist eyes shooting daggers, saying nothing... but she listens.

 

"I'm sorry. I was wrong " he begs forbearance. "You have every right to hate me. You took a chance, opening yourself up, and I hurt you. What I said was foolishness, rubbish I didn't mean, because I didn't comprehend what you were saying. Whoever you are, whatever you decide to do, I won't judge you anymore. That's not my place... I want to support you, as a friend, as someone who cares about you..."

 

He pauses for a breath, and when she doesn't respond, continues...

 

"You'll always have a place in my heart, but I won't hold on any longer," he affirms her desire. "You're free to leave, I won't burden you by waiting... I'll be happy, knowing that you're happy."

 

Then he remembers what Joo-Hee told him, and adds, "But I want you to know, moving on doesn't mean forgetting, or regretting... Because it's you..."

 

"Is that all?" she replies brusquely, her eyes narrowed, her voice on edge.

 

"Yes."

 

"You're hurting me..." she declares.

 

"What?"

 

Sun-Mi looks down at his hand on her wrist, and he sheepishly releases his grasp. She rubs the reddened spot for a few seconds, then looks up at him again, the hardness in her expression gone...

 

"Don't you understand, Senior? Even if I'm angry, even if I'm hurt, I can never hate you," she states unequivocally, then shares her heartfelt feelings, "It's the same for me, that you'll always be in my heart, too. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting, or regretting... Because it's you..."

 

 

Overcome by feelings, Hyung-Chul pulls Sun-Mi into his embrace. She lets him hold her, but doesn't reciprocate...

 

... if she clings onto him now, she'll never let him go ...

 

After a minute, she lifts her hands, pressing him away. They gaze at each other longingly, further words unnecessary...

 

 

"I have to go..." her voice carries her reluctance to leave his embrace, and her insistence that it must be so.

 

Hyung-Chul unhappily releases her from his arms.

 

"Goodbye, Senior... Take care..."

 

"Goodbye, Sun-Mi..."

 

 

She turns away again, this time walking slowly, her steps precise, unhurried...

 

Watching the gap between them get larger with each second, Hyung-Chul fights the urge to rush after her again, sweep Sun-Mi up off her feet to carry her off, and never let her walk away from him again... But he know this is what she wants, what she had warned him long ago was inevitable...

 

...'My life is one of dreams, Senior, while yours is one of realities ... like a meteorite from the heavens and a pearl from the sea ... being so different, can we ever truly know the other's heart and mind, and remain together?' ...

 

 

Jin-Woo is waiting by the passenger-side door to help Sun-Mi into the car, then circles the front to the driver's side.

 

"Chairman," he acknowledges Hyung-Chul, before he gets in, too.

 

 

Hyung-Chul keeps his focus on Sun-Mi's face, taking pictures with his eyes. She looks back at him emotionlessly, like seeing a stranger, as if she has already cut the ties between them.

 

Jin-Woo starts the engine and shifts into gear, easing the Mercedes slowly forward. As it passes Hyung-Chul, he pivots, following the car's progress, in case Sun-Mi turns back for one last look...

 

 

They drive off across the car park, Hyung-Chul hoping that, at the last second, the car will turn back and Sun-Mi will return to him. But the car keeps going... She doesn't look back...

 

 

He waits until he can no longer make out the taillights... remembering what Sun-Mi had said that day on the mountain... words that had explained so much, if he's just understood...

 

... 'See those birds? The hawks and eagles soaring on the wind? I dreamed I was like them, flying freely over the mountains, high above the clouds. Flying away to faraway places, with nothing to hold me back' ...

 

 

"Fly away, follow your dreams, Jin Sun-Mi," he sends her off, the void in his heart aching already. "Just know that, should you ever come back, I'll be waiting..."