AAE -- Wishes Of The Heart

Chapter 211

written by LoveCR2 -- 2005

edited by All-About-AAE -- 2019

 

"I have confessed and repented of my sins, seeking God's forgiveness. All I ask is for another chance." -- Huh Young-Mi

 

 

RURAL KANGWON-DO ...

 

"Your request is highly irregular..."

 

The Mother Superior gazes down sympathetically at the supplicant kneeling in humility before her...

 

"Are you certain this is what you want?"

 

 

Young-Mi raises her head to look up, but her face is obscured by the veil she is wearing as a sign of penitence, and to hide her face from public view...

 

"Yes, Mother, I vow to lead a life dependent on God, and turn away from my past forever," she declares her intent quietly, her garbled words barely distinct.

 

"You claimed that once before," the elderly nun reminds her, "only to violate your vows."

 

"Because I gave into temptations of greed and the flesh," Young-Mi acknowledges her past indiscretions. "That's why I seek a vocation of total seclusion, to prevent it from ever happening again."

 

"Cloistered life is not an easy path. A vocation is not about running away from the troubles of one's situation in life."

 

"In prison, I was filled with anger. I felt abandoned, that I'd be shunned and mocked for the rest of my life. I even considered aborting my child so she couldn't grow up to reject me. And I hated God for causing me to be born into such a cruel world... a world that made me into this..."

 

Young-Mi lifts her veil to show her disfigured face for a moment, before concealing it again...

 

"But now I want to atone for my sins before God the Father and the Holy Virgin Mother, to dedicate my life to prayer and worship," Young-Mi expresses her purpose...

 

 

The Mother Superior is still skeptical. "What led you to this change of heart?"

 

"I was visited by an angel, who saw in me not an enemy or a freak, but a person like herself. Despite her own suffering by what I'd done, her forgiveness and love touched my heart and made me reconsider... That's when I realized why God allowed my punishment... so my soul could be saved."

 

Young-Mi lowers her face to the floor, begging...

 

"This is the truth. I want to complete my salvation, by devoting myself exclusively to God. Please... don't turn me away!"

 

 

The Mother Superior's attitude softens...

 

"We'll need permission from the Order, before the convent can accept you back. I'll inform you of their decision when it comes. You may go now, in peace..."

 

 

But Young-Mi doesn't move...

 

"Mother, allow me to stay until that decision is made," she pleads. "I have nowhere to go, no one to turn to."

 

"What about your parents?"

 

"They disowned me because of my evil deeds," Young-Mi replies. "I almost cost their daughter's life. I don't have the right to call them 'parents' ... When I lived here before, the convent was family to me. I've confessed and repented of my sins, seeking God's forgiveness. All I ask is for another chance."

 

 

The Mother ponders Young-Mi's request, weighing the balance of pro and con...

 

"Very well, you may stay at the convent, for now," she agrees. "You must live like any postulant preparing for vows, except you will be in complete seclusion as you have requested."

 

"I will do whatever you ask of me," Young-Mi affirms.

 

"There is one more thing. I heard from Sister Rose that you gave up parental rights to your child. Why?"

 

"I do not want to stain the child with any memory of me. It's best that she not know the wickedness I've done."

 

"Then you don't hate her as you claimed?"

 

"I said that trying to harden my heart, so it wouldn't break when I gave her away," Young-Mi claims.

 

"And did you succeed?"

 

"No. Every day I cry over her, as a bad mother who gave away her baby," Young-Mi admits. "Now I pray every day that she can forgive me, and have a happy, blessed life."

 

"God has answered your prayers," the nun replies. "In a few days your daughter will have a new family. Would you like to see her one last time?"

 

Tears immediately flood Young-Mi's eyes...

 

"Is it really possible?" she dares hope. "If I could hold her for just five minutes, it would mean so much to me!"

 

 

The Mother Superior goes over to the office door and opens it,

 

"Please bring the child in now, Sister Rose," she calls into the antechamber.

 

When Sister Rose enters and sees Young-Mi, her face turns hard. "This is against all policies!" she protests.

 

"Sometimes rules need to be broken to do the right thing," the older nun gently admonishes. "Please give the baby for her to hold."

 

 

Sister Rose complies, grudgingly.

 

Hidden by the veil, tears of joy wash Young-Mi's face as she sobs with utter joy.

 

"We'll be back in ten minutes," the Mother Superior informs her.

 

Young-Mi doesn't respond, if she even heard. Her entire world is the precious baby in her arms...