AAE -- Wishes Of The Heart
Chapter 227
written by LoveCR2 -- 2005
edited by All-About-AAE -- 2019
"I won't leave you again, Sun-Mi. You're my only love. I want to marry you ... We don't need to fear the truth." -- Yoon Hyung-Chul
SEORAESEOM ISLAND, BANPO HANGANG PARK ...
Situated between Dongjakdaegyo and Banpodaegyo bridges in the Hangang River Park Banpo District, the main attractions of this long, narrow manmade island are the fields of Canola (Rapeseed) flowers that cover the island with a brilliant yellow blanket in the Spring, and the quiet walking paths lined with resting benches, ideal for contemplation.
But what is at the forefront of Hyung-Chul's mind as he crosses the middle bridge of the three leading to Seoraeseom, is the last time he was here, almost three years ago, on a crisp, early autumn morning...
He pictures Sun-Mi, as clearly as if were yesterday -- gravely facing into the sunrise at their rendezvous on the eastern tip of the island, dressed all in black, somber as if at a funeral -- as she made the solemn pronouncement which had left his heart reeling...
... 'Senior, don�t be heartbroken because of me... Just leave me and go... I might marry Woo-Jin' ...
In contrast to that weighty image from the past, today Sun-Mi -- waving as she sees him from the far end of the bridge -- is brightly dressed in a Zara red stretch lace off-the-shoulder top, black and white patterned H&M knee-length A-line skirt, and strappy red Kurt Geiger sandals on tapered 75mm stacked heels.
When she greets him with a smile, still suspecting bad news, he asks apprehensively, "Why did you want to meet, HERE, of all places?"
"This is where I often come to gather my thoughts, when I have a lot of things on my mind ... some of which I owe you explanations," she answers vaguely, leaving his mind unsettled...
He wonders what could be on her mind that prompted this meeting. The terse IM text, giving no hint of her intentions, was the first communication from Sun-Mi since the morning at her home when she shocked everyone with the question ... 'Who is the real Jin Sun-Mi?'
As they stroll along the paved walkway lined with young weeping willows, Sun-Mi notes his pensive mood and queries, "What are you thinking about, Senior?"
"Old times... Frankly, our last meeting here wasn't a happy moment for me," he reflects on his earlier thoughts.
"Nor for me, either," she admits. "But I had to be honest about the possibilities. I didn't want you to waste your life waiting because of my indecision."
Hyung-Chul stops and turns to face Sun-Mi, connecting with her eyes to convey his sincerity...
"Not one moment with you has been a waste," he claims earnestly, "Not then, and not now, and I hope in the future, not ever."
"I appreciate that, Senior, more than you realize," Sun-Mi says gratefully, slipping her hand around his arm as they continue walking. "Knowing you has been one of the biggest gifts in my life."
... he had made that claim about himself to her, on the day she left London...
"It took all these years for you to figure that out?" he deadpans.
"Be careful!" she snaps a warning, parrying with her usual threat-in-jest, "I could still change my mind! ... I might just do that!"
His moodiness lightened by their repartee, Hyung-Chul ventures the question, "What were you going to tell me?"
"About the other day," she answers. "I thought you might want to know the result."
Hyung-Chul IS curious, having had to bow out early for work. "What happened after I left?"
"Mom and I had a talk, and she apologized for her attitude. She will accept Ha-Eun, if Young-Mi wants to continue with the adoption," Sun-Mi fills him in on the positive resolution.
"And the envelope... what did you decide?"
"I gave it back to Min-Cho, unopened, to keep in a secure place, if I ever want to know."
"If? ... Wouldn't it be better to have certainty, instead of always wondering?" Hyung-Chul advises. "Then you can move forward."
"I'd thought about that, and decided that in this case, uncertainty is easier to bear, and those things are better left sealed in the past," she gives her reasoning.
They arrive at the island's end and select a bench at the observation point. Sun-Mi gazes thoughtfully into the distance... watching the sun settle into a heavy orange mist behind Dongjakdaegyo Bridge.
With the onset of twilight, the breeze turns chilly. Noticing that Sun-Mi's arms are studded with goosebumps, Hyung-Chul removes his suit jacket, draping it over her shoulders. She nods in appreciative acknowledgment, keeping her concentration fixed on the fading colors.
"There's something else you need to know," she finally says, turning toward him. "What happened that night, in my room... it's why I'm not the kind of person anyone should marry," she reiterates her assertion.
"But it was my fault," he insists, accepting any blame. "A mistake I made."
"You did nothing wrong, Senior," she avers adamantly. "It's because of me, not you."
She averts her eyes guiltily...
"I lied when I said nothing happened with Kim Eun-Ki," she confesses. "Actually, I ... I couldn't face that reality..."
Tears smart in her eyes, and Sun-Mi stifles a quiet sob as she wipes her eyes dry...
Hyung-Chul puts his arm protectively around Sun-Mi's shoulders. "If it's too painful, don't say anymore."
"No... it's all right," she replies. "This is something I need to do..."
Recovering her composure, she continues, "I've tried so hard to convince myself it was nothing. I thought that, with so much time passed, I could put it behind me, but I couldn't. That night, it all came back -- the fear and shame -- it's all I could think of. I'm sorry I disappointed you."
"Shouldn't I be the one to decide if I'm disappointed or not?" he disputes her supposition, asserting, "Whatever happened doesn't change how I feel about you. Why can't we give love a chance to work things out?"
"And if love isn't enough?" she counters. "Suppose nothing changes? I'd always feel guilty that I wasn't the wife you deserved, wondering if you had regrets. Could you be content, as a man, and remain true to me? ... You're only human, Senior, not God... "
"Yes, I'm not perfect. Certainly, I've failed you before," Hyung-Chul concedes.
"And your family legacy? What will you do about that?" she brings up another point of contention. "I won't put you in the place of having to decide between me and fulfilling your filial responsibility.... because family comes first."
"These are only hypotheticals," he tries to dismiss her concerns. "We don't know what the future holds, so why let fear hold us back?"
"You're right," she concurs. "We shouldn't fear the future..."
He smiles confidently, thinking he has won her over.
"But it's not just the future ... there is the past, too," she returns to the unresolved matter. "Who I really might be."
"I don't care about that either," he maintains. "Children don't bear the sins of their parents."
"And what about society?" she argues the same point as Jin-Suk had done. "There are hundreds of women more suitable than me. You could marry any of them and be happy. Why go looking for trouble? Why create a scandal, when you don't have to?"
"Because being with you is more important than anything else in this world," he declares, unbending.
"Anything at all?" she answers doubtfully. "What if..."
Sun-Mi abruptly stops talking and stands. She crosses the walkway to the railing, putting her back to him.
"What haven't you told me?" Hyung-Chul demands, rising to his feet and taking a step forward.
"Please, don't come any closer. Let things be as they are. It's best that way," she requests, her voice wavering. "Senior, just leave me and go..."
... the last time here, he had let her walk away ... but not today ...
Hyung-Chul steps up behind Sun-Mi and puts his arms around her waist, embracing her...
"I won't leave you again, Sun-Mi. You're my only love," he vows. "I want to marry you ... We don't need to fear the truth."
"I want to believe that, Senior. Really, I do," she answers, "But ..."
She takes a deep breath to fortify her resolve...
"What if the truth is ... that I am actually your sister? What will you do then?"